How to Be Confident (When You Are Not): 5 Expert Tips
Your confidence shapes every important interaction. From job interviews to team presentations, how confident you appear determines how others respond to you and whether you get the results you want.
The breakthrough insight? You don't need to feel confident to project confidence. Communication coach Montana Von Fliss has spent 17 years helping everyone from new hires to Fortune 500 CEOs master this skill. Her approach cuts through the noise: make specific physical and vocal choices that signal confidence to your audience.
Here are five proven techniques for projecting unshakeable confidence, regardless of your internal state.
1. Turn up the energy and speak up
Speaking with slightly more volume and energy than feels natural immediately signals confidence. You don't need dramatic voice changes or shouting.
Think energy on a scale of 1-10. Nervous speakers operate around 2-3. Simply hitting a 5 transforms your presence. This means clear speech, strong projection, and eliminating the quiet, apologetic tone that broadcasts uncertainty.
Transform this: "I think maybe we should consider this option" Into this: "Here's an option worth exploring"
Same message. Confident delivery projects authority and preparedness.
2. Master strategic pauses
Nervous speakers rush through words and fill silence with "um," "uh," and "like." Confident speakers pause intentionally.
Strategic pauses serve multiple purposes: transitions between ideas, emphasis before important points, and thinking time without filler words.
Instead of: "So, um, the next thing I wanted to talk about is, uh, our budget projections" Try: "Our budget projections..." [pause] "...show promising growth"
The silence might feel uncomfortable to you, but signals control and thoughtfulness to your audience.
3. Use power posture
Your body language communicates confidence before you speak. The "superhero stance" embodies confident posture: shoulders back, feet planted firmly, arms uncrossed, head held high.
This isn't about dramatic poses. It's making the physical shape of confidence. Your audience can't read your mind, but they see your posture. Stand like a confident person, and people perceive you as confident.
Practice this: Before entering meeting rooms, spend 30 seconds adjusting posture. Roll shoulders back, lift chin slightly, unclench hands. Walk in with this stance and maintain it while speaking.
This works from your chair during video calls too.
4. Practice with purpose
Confidence comes from preparation, but not just any practice. Create a rehearsal schedule with specific goals for each session: perfecting your opening, improving transitions, or incorporating better pauses.
For important presentations, run through material daily the week before. No time for full rehearsal? Practice your opening and closing three times in a row.
Example: While making breakfast, practice your presentation opening out loud. Stand up, imagine your audience, deliver those crucial first sentences with energy and purpose. Daily repetition makes your opening second nature.
The key: practice out loud, standing up, simulating real conditions. Reading notes silently won't build the muscle memory needed for confident delivery.
5. Craft your silent sentence
The most powerful technique. What you tell yourself internally directly affects external performance. Instead of letting negative self-talk run wild ("What if I mess up?" "I need to be perfect"), craft a specific, positive internal message.
Your silent sentence should focus on purpose and value you provide. It becomes an override switch for anxiety and self-doubt.
Effective silent sentences:
- "I want to help my audience solve this problem"
- "I'm here to share valuable information that will make their jobs easier"
- "I have something useful to contribute to this discussion"
Practice your silent sentence as much as spoken words. When rehearsing presentations, include both internal message and external content. This creates automatic, reliable thought patterns you can access when pressure mounts.
Your confidence action plan
These techniques might feel uncomfortable initially because they're new. That's normal. The goal isn't eliminating nervousness but making confident choices despite internal feelings.
Your audience wants you to succeed. When you use these five techniques, you're not just helping yourself—you're making it easier for your audience to focus on your message rather than worry about your comfort level.
Start with one technique and gradually layer in others. With consistent practice, these confident behaviors become automatic, giving you a reliable toolkit for any high-stakes situation.
The difference between appearing confident and nervous comes down to small, deliberate choices. Make those choices, and watch how differently people respond to you.