What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection: A Summary of Jia Jiang's TED Talk

By Hemanta Sundaray

PostedJune 20, 2025

What is the single most powerful word in the human language? For many of us, it isn't "love" or "hate." It’s "no."

It’s a word that can stop dreams in their tracks. It can silence brilliant ideas before they’re ever spoken. For entrepreneur Jia Jiang, this fear began when he was just six years old, standing in front of his first-grade class. His teacher, in a well-intentioned but disastrous attempt at a team-building exercise, had students compliment each other to earn a gift. One by one, children were called. The group of 40 shrank to 20, then 10, then three. Jia was one of the last three, standing in humiliated silence.

That feeling became his boogeyman. It was the voice of a six-year-old who dictated the actions of the ambitious 14-year-old who dreamed of building a company bigger than Microsoft. It was a fear that persisted for decades, until one day, Jia decided to stop running. He decided to face his fear head-on by actively seeking rejection for 100 days straight.

In this summary of his powerful TED Talk, we will explore the profound stories and life-altering lessons Jia Jiang learned on his journey to become rejection-proof.

The Experiment: What is Rejection Therapy?

After a painful investment rejection nearly caused him to quit his startup, Jia Jiang knew he had to change. He couldn't let the fear of "no" dictate his life any longer. His search for a solution led him to a website created by a Canadian entrepreneur named Jason Comely: rejectiontherapy.com.

The premise was simple yet terrifying: for 30 days, you must deliberately go out and get rejected at something, every single day. The goal is to desensitize yourself to the pain and, in the process, destroy the power that the fear holds over you.

Jia loved the idea. He decided to take it a step further. He would attempt 100 days of rejection, film every encounter, and document his journey on a video blog. He had no idea that this personal project would soon change his life, and the lives of millions who watched it.

The Stories that Defined the Journey

The power of Jia's talk lies in his vulnerability and the unforgettable stories he shares. These weren't just rejections; they were profound human interactions that taught him everything.

Story 1: The hundred-dollar failure

For his very first challenge, Jia decided to ask a complete stranger to borrow $100. He approached a security guard, his heart pounding, sweat forming on his brow. He described it as the longest walk of his life. When he finally stammered out the request, the guard simply looked up and said, "No. Why?"

Jia did what he had always done. He ran. He turned and fled without another word, flooded with embarrassment. But later that night, watching the footage, he saw something incredible. The guard wasn't menacing. He was a normal, chubby guy who had genuinely asked "Why?" He had invited a conversation. In that moment, Jia realized that his lifelong pattern was to run at the slightest hint of rejection, never staying long enough to understand the reason behind it. He vowed that the next day, no matter what, he would not run.

Story 2: The burger refill breakthrough

On day two, Jia went to a burger joint, finished his meal, and asked the cashier for a "burger refill." The cashier was understandably confused. "What's a burger refill?" he asked. Jia explained it was like a drink refill, but with a burger. The cashier politely said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refills, man."

This was it. The moment of rejection. But this time, Jia stayed. He didn't run. Instead, he said, "Well, I love your burgers. If you guys did a burger refill, I would love you even more." The cashier smiled and said he'd mention it to his manager. Jia left, and the world didn't end. That life-or-death feeling was gone, replaced by a simple, manageable sense of disappointment. Just by staying engaged, he had begun to shrink his fear.

Story 3: The life-changing olympic donuts

Day three was the day everything was turned upside down. Jia walked into a Krispy Kreme and made an absurd request, one destined for failure. He asked the donut maker if she could create donuts linked together to look like the Olympic rings.

He expected a quick "no" or a strange look. Instead, the donut maker, Jackie, took him completely seriously. She pulled out a piece of paper, started sketching the colors and the design, and spent 15 minutes meticulously crafting a box of donuts that looked exactly like the Olympic symbol. Jia was so touched he could barely believe it. The video of that interaction went viral, viewed by millions. The world couldn't believe it either. But the fame wasn't the lesson. The lesson was that if you just have the courage to ask, you might not get the "no" you are so sure is coming. You might just get a "yes" that changes everything.

The Rules of Rejection: Key Lessons from the 100-Day Journey

Through his dozens of experiments, Jia began to uncover the hidden rules of human interaction and the psychology behind "no."

Lesson 1: Don't run; ask "why."

After the initial rejection, the most powerful thing you can do is stay engaged and ask "why." Jia learned this when he asked a stranger if he could plant a flower in his backyard. The man said no. But when Jia asked why, the man explained that his dog would just dig it up. He then referred Jia to his neighbor across the street, Connie, who loved flowers. A "no" from one person turned into a "yes" from another, all because he didn't run away from the initial rejection.

Lesson 2: Acknowledge the awkwardness.

When making a strange request, you can dramatically increase your chances of a "yes" by pointing out the weirdness yourself. Jia tested this at Starbucks by asking the manager if he could be a "Starbucks Greeter." The manager was hesitant until Jia asked, "Is that weird?" The manager immediately relaxed and said, "Yeah, it's really weird, man... but you can do it." By acknowledging the doubt the other person is feeling, you build trust and show you aren't crazy—you're on their side.

Lesson 3: Rejection is often about fit, not you.

We internalize "no" as a judgment of our worth. But more often than not, it has nothing to do with us. The man with the flower didn't reject Jia; he rejected the idea of a flower in a yard with a dog. His "no" was about his own context, not Jia's character. This realization is incredibly liberating, as it depersonalizes the entire experience.

Lesson 4: You can achieve your dreams just by asking.

Jia had always dreamed of being a teacher but assumed he needed a Ph.D. or incredible accomplishments first. As part of his experiment, he simply walked into a university and asked professors if he could teach their class. After a few rejections, one professor was so impressed by his audacity and preparation that he let him. Jia fulfilled a lifelong dream not through years of work, but through minutes of courage.

Your Rejection is a Gift

Jia concludes his talk by reminding us that the people who truly change the world—people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi—were all met with fierce initial rejection. They didn't let that rejection define them. They let their reaction to it define them.

Rejection was once Jia Jiang's curse, his boogeyman. By running toward it instead of away from it, he transformed it into his greatest gift. The next time you face a "no," don't run. Stay. Ask why. Embrace the possibility that this obstacle might just be an opportunity in disguise.

What is one small "rejection" you could challenge yourself to face this week?