How to Achieve Inner Peace & Healing | Dr. Richard Schwartz
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Dr. Richard Schwartz's discussion on Internal Family Systems therapy that can help you achieve inner peace and healing.
1. Internal Family Systems (IFS) views the mind as naturally multiple
Internal Family Systems therapy, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, is based on the concept that the mind naturally consists of multiple parts or subpersonalities. These parts are not pathological but represent the natural state of the human mind. We're all born with them because they're valuable and have qualities that help us survive and thrive.
These parts can become problematic when trauma and attachment injuries force them into roles they don't like. They often become frozen in time, living as if the trauma is still happening. In IFS therapy, the goal isn't to eliminate these parts but to help them transform back to their naturally valuable state.
2. The three main categories of parts: exiles, managers, and firefighters
In the IFS model, our internal parts fall into three main categories. Exiles are vulnerable parts that carry our pain, shame, and fear. These are often young parts that got hurt during traumatic experiences and were subsequently locked away because their feelings were too overwhelming.
Managers are protective parts that try to keep everything under control. They help us function in our careers and relationships by trying to prevent exiles from being triggered. Firefighters are another type of protector that react impulsively when exiles get triggered. They try to distract us or numb the pain through behaviors like substance use, binge eating, or anger outbursts, without concern for long-term consequences.
3. The concept of Self with a capital S as our core essence
Beyond all these parts lies what Dr. Schwartz calls the "Self" with a capital S. This Self represents our core essence and has qualities described as the "eight Cs": curiosity, calm, confidence, compassion, courage, clarity, creativity, and connectedness. The Self is always present within us, just beneath the surface of our parts.
In IFS therapy, the goal is to access this Self and let it become the leader of our internal system. Unlike other therapies where the therapist serves as the attachment figure, in IFS you become your own good attachment figure through your Self. When parts come to trust the Self as their leader, they can relax from their extreme roles and transform.
4. Trauma gets stored when we exile vulnerable parts
Dr. Schwartz offers a unique perspective on trauma. He explains that traumatic events aren't necessarily traumatizing if we can access our Self and embrace the hurt parts rather than exiling them. What makes an experience traumatizing is when something painful happens, and instead of comforting the hurt parts, we lock them away because their feelings are too overwhelming.
When we exile these vulnerable parts, we become more fragile. The world seems more dangerous because anything could trigger these exiled parts. This creates a cycle where more protective parts have to step in, creating further internal conflict and disconnection from our authentic Self.
5. The healing process involves getting curious about our parts
The IFS approach involves shifting from judging or fighting with our parts to becoming curious about them. Dr. Schwartz demonstrated this process with Andrew Huberman, guiding him to locate a frustrated part in his body and ask it questions from a place of curiosity. This process helps us understand what our parts are trying to protect us from.
Through this curiosity-driven approach, we discover that even the most troublesome parts have positive intentions. Even parts we dislike, such as inner critics or angry protectors, are trying to keep us safe in their own way. The healing begins when we stop battling these parts and start listening to them with compassion.
6. Parts carry burdens that can be released through the unburdening process
A fundamental concept in IFS is that our parts aren't inherently negative or problematic. Rather, they carry burdens—beliefs, emotions, and roles they've taken on due to traumatic experiences. In IFS therapy, these burdens can be released through a process called "unburdening."
The unburdening process involves accessing the Self, connecting with a part, understanding its protective role, and then helping it release the burden it carries. Once unburdened, parts naturally transform into their original, positive qualities. This transformation explains why IFS can be effective with issues often considered treatment-resistant, such as eating disorders or personality disorders.
7. Our parts are often stuck in time, thinking we're still young
Many of our protector parts are still operating as if we were children. In the demonstration, Dr. Schwartz asked Andrew to ask his part how old it thought he was, explaining that parts often respond with a single-digit age. These parts are still protecting us as if we were that young, vulnerable child, using strategies that may have been necessary then but are now outdated.
Simply updating these parts about our current age and capabilities can bring tremendous relief. When parts recognize that we're now adults with resources and abilities we didn't have as children, they can begin to relax their grip and trust our Self to handle situations appropriately.
8. Internal polarization mirrors external conflict
Dr. Schwartz discussed how the polarization we experience internally often mirrors conflicts in the external world. Just as we have parts that judge and oppose each other inside, we see similar dynamics playing out in politics and social issues. These inner conflicts can drive our reactions to others and perpetuate cycles of judgment and division.
By healing our internal polarization through Self-leadership, we can bring more compassion and clarity to external conflicts. This approach has broader applications beyond individual therapy, with Dr. Schwartz mentioning work being done in conflict zones like the Middle East to help groups unburden "legacy burdens"—inherited traumatic beliefs and emotions.
9. Psychedelics can complement IFS therapy by temporarily quieting manager parts
Dr. Schwartz shared that psychedelics like ketamine can work synergistically with IFS therapy. These substances often temporarily quiet the manager parts that normally maintain control, allowing greater access to both the Self and exiled parts that need healing. This can accelerate the therapeutic process, accomplishing in a short session what might otherwise take multiple conventional sessions.
The combination can be particularly powerful because ketamine creates an opening where people can experience their "big Self"—a sense of connection beyond the individual ego. This experience can be transformative, especially for those dealing with depression or end-of-life anxiety, as it helps them recognize they're more than their limited self-concept.
10. Daily practice of checking in with parts creates lasting transformation
For lasting change, Dr. Schwartz emphasized the importance of developing an ongoing relationship with our parts. He recommends a daily practice of checking in with parts we've begun working with, asking what they need and how they're feeling. Without this follow-up work, initial progress can reverse.
This practice transforms IFS from just a therapy technique into a life philosophy. Dr. Schwartz described how he starts each day by checking in with his parts and throughout the day notices when he's departed from Self leadership. This ongoing awareness allows him to hold "internal board meetings" when needed, helping parts that are activated to step back so he can engage with the world from a place of Self.