Tools for Overcoming Substance & Behavioral Addictions | Ryan Soave
Here are the top 20 key takeaways from Dr. Andrew Huberman's conversation with addiction specialist Ryan Soave that reveal powerful insights about addiction and recovery, grounded in neuroscience and clinical practice.
1. Addiction as a solution, not the problem
Addiction often begins as a solution to underlying stress or discomfort, not as the primary problem itself. People turn to substances or behaviors seeking relief from emotional pain, trauma, or uncomfortable feelings they don't know how to process. The substance or behavior provides temporary relief, making it seem like an effective solution.
This perspective shift helps in understanding addiction more compassionately. Rather than seeing addiction as a moral failing or character flaw, it recognizes that people are attempting to solve genuine problems in their lives. The challenge is that this "solution" eventually creates more problems than it solves, becoming problematic in its own right while the original issues remain unaddressed.
2. The key question: "Does it have you or do you have it?"
A powerful way to assess potential addiction is asking: "Does it have you or do you have it?" This question helps determine whether a person is controlling the behavior or substance, or if it's controlling them. If someone can't stop thinking about the activity when not doing it, or can't stop doing it when engaged, the activity likely "has them."
Another practical test is whether someone can take an extended break without significant distress. Can they quit for a month? If the thought of stopping creates anxiety or seems impossible, this suggests dependence. Impact on life quality matters too—is the behavior negatively affecting relationships, work, health, or other important areas? These indicators help identify when recreational activities or substances have crossed into addiction territory.
3. The relationship between trauma and addiction
Trauma and addiction often exist in a reinforcing cycle. Many people develop addictions as adaptive responses to trauma or adverse experiences, especially those occurring during developmental years. These adaptations, which were once protective mechanisms for survival, continue into adulthood where they become maladaptive and harmful.
The cycle perpetuates as addiction creates its own traumas. Behaviors and consequences from addiction generate more stress, shame, and painful experiences, which in turn intensify the need for relief. Soave describes this as a "perpetual motion machine" where trauma leads to stress, stress leads to addiction for relief, addiction creates more trauma, and the cycle continues. Breaking this cycle often requires addressing both the addiction and the underlying trauma simultaneously.
4. Distress tolerance as a core skill for recovery
The ability to tolerate distress—sitting with uncomfortable feelings without immediately seeking relief—emerges as a fundamental skill for addiction recovery. Soave emphasizes that much of his work involves helping people "learn how to feel bad" rather than escaping discomfort through substances or behaviors. This capacity allows people to face pain without turning to destructive coping mechanisms.
Building distress tolerance happens gradually through practice. By experiencing uncomfortable sensations for small periods and gradually extending that time, people develop confidence that they can handle distress without escaping. This skill transfers across different situations, giving people more choices when faced with challenging emotions rather than automatically turning to their addiction for relief.
5. The "emotional weather forecast" as a daily practice
The "emotional weather forecast" is a powerful daily practice for addiction recovery and emotional regulation. It begins with gratitude, acknowledging both positive aspects and challenges. The person then outlines their day's plans and assesses their current emotional state, especially noting feelings like fear, resentment, or shame.
The practice continues with identifying potential character liabilities that might arise given the day's plans and current emotional state. For example, someone might recognize that travel delays could trigger impatience or controlling behaviors. The final steps involve determining what to watch for (potential triggers or reactions) and what to strive for (qualities like patience or kindness). This practice helps people anticipate challenges and prepare responses, rather than being caught off guard by difficult emotions.
6. The false promise of quick, effortless rewards
Activities or substances that offer quick, effort-free rewards often become the most problematic. The brain's reward system evolved to reinforce behaviors requiring effort—seeking food, finding shelter, building social bonds. When rewards come without corresponding effort, this natural balance is disrupted.
These effortless rewards create rapid dopamine spikes followed by increasingly deeper crashes. As Huberman notes, "dopamine that doesn't require effort to obtain is the slipperiest slope." This explains why substances like cocaine or activities like gambling can be so addictive—they provide immediate rewards without meaningful effort. The discussion suggests being especially cautious of things that come easily and feel immediately good, as these often create the strongest addictive patterns.
7. The value of 12-step programs and community support
Twelve-step programs offer valuable community support for addiction recovery with several unique advantages. They're free, widely available worldwide, accessible 24/7 (especially with online options), and provide peer support from people with shared experiences. These programs focus not just on stopping addictive behaviors but on designing a fulfilling life without addiction.
The foundational principle of admitting powerlessness is often misunderstood. Rather than suggesting weakness, it represents a strategic recognition of limitations that allows redirecting energy toward effective solutions. The programs emphasize connection with others as an antidote to the isolation addiction creates. Soave notes that while 12-step programs aren't for everyone, they provide accessible support that complements professional treatment, filling gaps that clinical interventions alone cannot address.
8. The role of proactive versus reactive tools for recovery
Recovery requires both proactive and reactive tools. Proactive tools are scheduled practices that build capacity for handling stress and include activities like yoga nidra, meditation, therapy, physical exercise, and cold exposure. These practices strengthen the nervous system's ability to handle discomfort before crisis moments occur.
Reactive tools, in contrast, are employed during moments of acute stress or craving. These might include breathing techniques, brief walks, or calling a support person. Soave emphasizes that the best time for therapy isn't during crisis but during stable periods when growth can occur. By building proactive practices during calmer times, people develop resources they can access during challenging moments, making reactive responses more effective when needed.
9. The physiology of managing stress responses
Understanding the physical aspects of stress responses helps in managing addiction triggers. When stressed, the body experiences an adrenaline surge that temporarily shuts down the prefrontal cortex (the brain's rational decision-making area) for about 15-20 seconds. During this window, poor decisions are more likely as the primitive survival brain dominates.
This physiological knowledge offers a practical strategy: during intense cravings or stress, waiting just 20 seconds before acting can make a significant difference. This brief pause allows the prefrontal cortex to come back online, enabling more strategic choices. The conversation explores how practices like cold exposure can help train this response, teaching people to ride out the initial stress response without reacting impulsively.
10. Yoga nidra (non-sleep deep rest) as a recovery tool
Yoga nidra, which Huberman calls "non-sleep deep rest" (NSDR), emerges as a powerful tool for addiction recovery. This guided meditation practice involves lying still while remaining awake, creating a state where the body relaxes deeply while the mind remains conscious. In treatment centers Soave oversees, clients begin each day with this practice.
The practice offers several benefits for recovery. It activates the parasympathetic ("rest and digest") nervous system, reduces stress, and increases dopamine levels naturally. This helps counteract the dopamine dysregulation caused by addiction. Regular practice helps build the capacity to return to a calm state more quickly when triggered, making it easier to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. Soave recommends practicing morning and late afternoon for optimal results.
11. Balance as a dynamic process, not a static state
Recovery involves embracing balance as an ongoing, dynamic process rather than a fixed state. Soave uses the metaphor that "balance is not standing still with both feet planted—balance is like this," demonstrating a swaying motion. This perspective recognizes that life naturally involves periods of stability and instability.
The goal in recovery isn't to eliminate all discomfort or achieve permanent stability. Instead, it's about developing the ability to recognize when we're becoming unbalanced sooner and returning to equilibrium quicker. This view replaces perfectionism with resilience. As Soave quotes, "peace is not finding calmer seas; it's building a better boat"—emphasizing that recovery is about developing better navigation skills for life's inevitable storms rather than expecting them to disappear.
12. The importance of reordering our loves
Addiction often represents a disordered hierarchy of what we value most. The conversation references St. Augustine's concept that "a life well-lived depends on reordering your loves"—suggesting that addiction occurs when substances or behaviors take highest priority in someone's life. Whatever we love most becomes our "higher power" or organizing principle.
Problems arise when we make things like money, relationships, substances, or behaviors our ultimate concern, as these will inevitably fail to provide lasting fulfillment or stability. Recovery involves consciously examining and reordering these priorities. Twelve-step programs address this through connecting with a "higher power," which might be God, community, or any principle larger than the self. This reordering helps replace addiction with healthier organizing principles for one's life.
13. The contrast between artificial and authentic stimulation
Modern technology creates unprecedented sensory stimulation that can make real-life experiences seem dull by comparison. Video games, social media, and pornography deliver intense sensory information that traditional activities like outdoor play or face-to-face interaction can't match. This creates a contrast that Huberman compares to choosing between a hot fudge sundae and plain broccoli.
This sensory contrast explains why many addictive behaviors, especially in younger people, are technology-related. When the brain becomes accustomed to artificial stimulation, real-world experiences feel underwhelming. This dynamic is particularly evident with pornography addiction, where young men report difficulties with real intimate relationships after extensive exposure to pornographic content. The discussion suggests being mindful of this contrast effect, especially for young people whose neural pathways are still developing.
14. Understanding gambling addiction's unique features
Gambling addiction presents unique challenges compared to substance addictions. It creates the illusion that the next bet can solve all problems, including financial losses from previous gambling. This creates a particularly powerful cycle where the solution to gambling losses appears to be more gambling—a dynamic not present in most other addictions.
The increasing accessibility of gambling through online platforms, sports betting apps, and cryptocurrency trading has expanded its reach, particularly affecting young people. Soave notes that gambling addiction often has the highest suicide rates among addictions and can cause lives to "get really small" as focus narrows to the next bet. The discussion also touched on how gambling is becoming increasingly normalized through advertising and celebrity endorsements, creating particular risks for impressionable audiences.
15. The danger of substituting addictions
When people overcome one addiction without addressing underlying issues, they often develop substitute addictions. Someone might stop drinking alcohol but then develop problematic gambling, shopping, or eating behaviors. This demonstrates that simply removing the substance or behavior isn't sufficient if the underlying drivers remain unaddressed.
This pattern highlights why comprehensive recovery approaches matter. Effective treatment helps people not just stop addictive behaviors but reorganize their lives toward meaningful goals and develop healthier coping strategies. Some substitutions may be more adaptive than others—someone might channel addictive tendencies into exercise or work—but even these can become problematic without balance and awareness.
16. The dopamine dynamics of addiction
Understanding dopamine's role helps explain addiction's persistent pull. Contrary to popular belief, dopamine isn't primarily about pleasure from rewards but about motivating pursuit of rewards. Huberman illustrates this with an example of a billionaire experiencing depression after achieving his goal—without new pursuits, dopamine levels drop significantly.
Addictive substances and behaviors cause unnaturally large, fast dopamine increases followed by corresponding crashes. This pattern leads to tolerance, where the same activity produces smaller dopamine peaks and deeper lows over time. The conversation emphasizes that dopamine is fundamentally about movement and motivation, which explains why physical activities like running can help in recovery—they engage the dopamine system in healthier, more sustainable ways.
17. The challenge of pornography addiction
Pornography addiction emerges as an increasingly common issue, particularly among young men. The conversation notes that pornography activates similar brain pathways as substances like crack cocaine while creating additional complexities. These include unrealistic expectations about sex, escalating content needs, and difficulties with real-life intimate relationships.
The shame associated with pornography addiction often prevents people from seeking help, creating additional barriers to recovery. Treatment approaches mirror other addictions: acknowledging the problem, finding supportive communities (including specialized 12-step groups), identifying triggers, and establishing accountability systems. Technology solutions like filtering software can provide external structure during early recovery. The speakers emphasize reducing shame around this topic to make it easier for people to seek help.
18. The recovery journey from desperation to self-actualization
Recovery follows a predictable journey illustrated by the Jellinek Curve. Initially, substance use increases as tolerance builds and problems begin. As dependency develops, tolerance paradoxically decreases while negative consequences multiply. At the bottom of the curve, the person cycles between using and stopping, unable to maintain sobriety.
With treatment and support, the upward journey begins. Early recovery often feels difficult as the person has lost their coping mechanism without yet developing alternatives. Gradually, as they remain in recovery communities and practice new skills, they begin experiencing authentic pleasure from life rather than substances. Eventually, many achieve what recovery communities call "a life beyond my wildest dreams"—not just abstinence, but a fuller life that they couldn't imagine during active addiction.
19. The value of connection in overcoming addiction
Connection emerges as a fundamental antidote to addiction. The origin story of Alcoholics Anonymous illustrates this principle: founder Bill Wilson, facing a choice between going to a bar or making a phone call, chose connection over isolation. This led to a meeting with Dr. Bob Smith and eventually a worldwide recovery movement helping millions.
Addiction thrives in isolation, while recovery flourishes in connection. Soave notes that "secrets keep us sick" because shame and hiding prevent healing. Many effective recovery approaches emphasize rebuilding relationships, developing community support, and learning to be vulnerable with others. This applies across different addiction types, from substances to behaviors like pornography or gambling. The speakers suggest that even brief connections, like attending a single meeting or having one honest conversation, can begin breaking the isolation that sustains addictive patterns.
20. The importance of building an appealing life beyond addiction
Sustainable recovery requires building a life that's more compelling than addiction. Early recovery often focuses on stopping problematic behaviors, but this alone isn't enough. People need positive directions to move toward, not just negative behaviors to avoid. Soave describes this as moving from "white knuckling it" to genuinely enjoying life without substances or addictive behaviors.
This process involves discovering new sources of meaning, connection, and pleasure. For some, this includes creative pursuits, meaningful work, spiritual practices, or service to others. Recovery communities often emphasize this aspect through sayings like "a life beyond my wildest dreams." Huberman and Soave suggest that when people develop lives they genuinely enjoy and don't want to risk losing, maintaining recovery becomes less about deprivation and more about protecting something valuable they've built.