How Stoicism Shaped Josh Brolin: Navigating Adversity And Building Resilience

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Josh Brolin's conversation with Ryan Holiday about how Stoicism has shaped his approach to life, adversity, and personal growth.

1. Embracing life's messiness

Josh Brolin emphasizes that life is inherently messy, overwhelming, and sometimes painful - and that's exactly how it should be. He believes this messiness develops character and resilience. Rather than seeking comfort or perfection, he values the process of falling, getting up, and trying again.

The conversation highlights how both men appreciate Stoicism precisely because it acknowledges life's difficulties while providing practical tools to navigate them. They reject the unrealistic premise of many self-help books that suggest simple solutions to complex problems. Instead, they find value in philosophies that recognize and embrace the inherent challenges of human existence.

2. The power of acceptance

One of the most significant Stoic principles discussed is acceptance - not as resignation but as a necessary step toward growth. Brolin shares how he's learned to accept his past, including his unconventional childhood and personal struggles, without dwelling on how things "should have been."

This acceptance allows him to move forward rather than remaining stuck in resentment or regret. Ryan Holiday points out that much of our suffering comes from fighting against reality or wishing things were different. The conversation suggests that true progress begins when we can say, "It is what it is," and then focus our energy on what comes next rather than lamenting what cannot be changed.

3. Finding your authentic voice

Brolin discusses how, similar to his acting career, he had to find his authentic writing voice rather than imitating others. He mentions how Hunter S. Thompson would type out novels by other authors just to feel the words flow through his fingers. Eventually, Brolin developed confidence in his own distinct style.

This journey toward authenticity applies across creative pursuits and life generally. The conversation reveals how both men value work that comes from genuine personal expression rather than trying to meet external expectations. When Brolin's literary agent pointed out that a chapter in his book didn't sound like him, he recognized he had been writing what he thought people wanted rather than what felt true to himself.

4. Parenthood as a source of wisdom

Brolin speaks movingly about being a parent from a young age and continuing to raise children well into his 60s. He sees parenthood as a profound gift that grounds him and provides perspective. The joy of witnessing children's discovery and awe of the world serves as a form of spiritual practice for him.

Children naturally humble their parents through their honesty and indifference to status. Holiday mentions how his own children continuously "bust his balls" and show complete disinterest in his work, which he finds healthy and grounding. This natural humbling effect of parenthood aligns with Stoic principles of staying connected to what truly matters rather than being inflated by external success.

5. The perspective of mortality

The conversation touches on how contemplating death provides clarity about what matters. Brolin shares an anecdote about a friend with terminal cancer who found that his approaching death crystallized what was truly important in life. Everything else fell away as trivial.

This perspective aligns with the Stoic practice of memento mori - remembering we will die. Holiday references Seneca's writings about how time reveals the true value of things. Both men agree that regularly considering our mortality helps cut through the noise of daily concerns and refocuses us on living with purpose and appreciation for what we have rather than worrying about status, comfort, or superficial concerns.

6. Challenging comfort and status

Brolin discusses how he deliberately challenges himself by putting himself in uncomfortable situations rather than surrounding himself with luxury and yes-men. He talks about intentionally maintaining a normal life despite his success, referencing advice from Robert De Niro about an actor's ability to disappear into crowds.

This approach resonates with the Stoic practice of voluntary discomfort. The conversation highlights how success often insulates people from normal difficulties, which can make them more fragile and less resilient. Holiday shares how people are often surprised when he doesn't mind waiting or dealing with inconveniences, suggesting that maintaining the ability to be comfortable in any circumstance is valuable and increasingly rare among successful people.

7. The vulnerability of creative work

The conversation explores the vulnerability required to create authentic work. Brolin discusses how writing his memoir exposed him in ways that acting never did. Despite decades of experience performing, he found himself deeply uncomfortable reading his audiobook because the material was so personal.

This vulnerability is necessary for meaningful creative expression. Both men discuss how the fear of judgment or failure often prevents people from doing their best work. The podcast demonstrates that even highly accomplished individuals experience self-doubt and insecurity when pushing their creative boundaries. Yet they agree that this discomfort is precisely what makes the work worthwhile and impactful for others.

8. Community and connection

Brolin emphasizes the importance of community and connection throughout the conversation. He values groups like AA not just for sobriety support but for the profound human connection they provide. He asks, "If we're not sharing, what the fuck is all this for?"

This perspective aligns with the Stoic view that humans are social animals meant to work together for mutual benefit. Brolin expresses appreciation for relationships that challenge and support him, from friends who give honest feedback on his writing to fellow motorcycle riders who rely on each other at high speeds. The conversation suggests that meaningful connection with others is essential to a well-lived life.

9. Aging and identity evolution

The podcast touches on how aging changes our identity and perspective. Brolin shares his surprise at suddenly being cast as "the old man" in films after decades of younger roles. This transition forced him to confront his evolving identity in both his personal and professional life.

Holiday connects this to a story from Seneca about returning to his childhood home and being shocked to realize how much time had passed. The conversation explores how we often feel internally the same age we were at formative moments, even as the world sees and treats us differently. Both men suggest that wisdom comes from recognizing and accepting these transitions rather than fighting against the natural progression of life.

10. Breaking free from blame

Brolin discusses his journey to move beyond blaming his upbringing for his challenges. He explains that his book explores the process of "finally growing up and having to look at yourself in the face." This means taking responsibility for his choices rather than attributing his behavior to how he was raised.

This perspective aligns with core Stoic principles about focusing on what's within our control. Rather than dwelling on the "nurture" aspects that shaped him, Brolin emphasizes his agency in determining his response to circumstances. The conversation suggests that true maturity involves acknowledging influences from our past without using them as excuses. Instead, we can use our understanding of these influences to make more conscious choices moving forward.