Lacrosse LEGEND Paul Rabil's Path To GREATNESS

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Paul Rabil's conversation on the "Daily Stoic" podcast, where he shares insights on peak performance, identity, and finding your true calling.

1. The choice of Hercules

Paul Rabil faced a pivotal career decision when Bill Belichick invited him to try out for the New England Patriots as a strong safety. Despite the enormous financial differences between professional football and lacrosse at the time (NFL minimum salary was around $400,000 compared to the lacrosse league maximum of $14,000), Belichick offered profound wisdom.

Belichick told Rabil that it's rare in life for anyone to have the opportunity to be the greatest at what they do. He pointed out that Rabil already had the chance to become one of the greatest lacrosse players, and encouraged him to pursue excellence in his natural domain rather than starting over in football. This conversation helped Rabil recognize his true calling despite the financial sacrifice.

2. Trading expectations for appreciation

In professional sports and high-performance endeavors, there's often a misconception that you must choose between having high expectations and appreciating the journey. Rabil learned that both can coexist simultaneously. You can demand excellence from yourself while also feeling gratitude for the opportunity to compete.

For Rabil, this balance came through years of therapy and sports psychology. Initially, he feared that developing a more balanced approach would dull his competitive edge. Eventually, he discovered that maintaining high standards while cultivating appreciation created a more sustainable path to excellence. This dual mindset allowed him to perform at his peak while preserving his mental health.

3. The art of letting go

Athletes face unique challenges with letting go, as their careers are inherently limited by biology. Rabil describes several painful instances of letting go: being traded (with its accompanying shame and self-worth questions), going through a divorce, and eventually retiring from the sport that defined his identity for years.

Learning to release attachment to past identities and outcomes is a crucial skill for long-term success. Rabil suggests reframing this skill—since high performers want to excel at everything, viewing "letting go" as another skill to master makes it more palatable. The process of letting go isn't just for major life transitions but also applies to daily frustrations and setbacks.

4. Professional versus amateur mindset

The transition from amateur to professional requires fundamental shifts in approach and mindset. As an amateur, athletes focus on discovery, hard work, and falling in love with their sport. The professional phase demands different priorities and sustainable practices for long-term success.

Professional athletes must make difficult concessions and strategic choices. Where college athletes might train at maximum intensity daily, professionals need to manage their bodies for 10-15 year careers. This requires working both smarter and harder, but in a more strategic, sustainable way. The professional mindset also involves making decisions with longevity in mind rather than just immediate performance.

5. Identity beyond performance

One of Rabil's most profound realizations came through therapy after a devastating championship loss and foot injury. He discovered his identity had become entirely wrapped up in being "the greatest lacrosse player in the world." This singular focus had initially propelled him to success but proved unsustainable.

Through therapy and personal growth, Rabil shifted from seeing himself as "a lacrosse player" to "Paul Rabil who happens to play lacrosse." This subtle distinction created space for broader development and resilience. The ability to separate performance from self-worth allows for healthier responses to both success and failure.

6. Curiosity as competitive advantage

Peyton Manning attributes his greatest strength as a quarterback to his curiosity. During film study as a college freshman, he would ask "what if" questions that coaches dismissed as implausible. This mindset of exploring unlikely scenarios prepared him for unpredictable game situations.

This approach connects to the Stoic practice of premeditating potential challenges. By mentally rehearsing responses to various scenarios, athletes develop options and contingency plans. Unlike anxiety, which feels impotent, this curious preparation creates confidence and readiness. Bill Belichick similarly demonstrates this principle by understanding rules better than the rule-makers themselves, finding strategic advantages in unlikely places.

7. Finding your calling versus choosing it

The conversation highlights an important distinction between finding your calling and choosing it. Rabil reflects on how people often seek their passion as if it's an external treasure to be discovered. Scott Galloway's perspective suggests that passion actually emerges from what you're naturally talented at—your calling is already inside you, connected to your innate abilities.

Your job isn't to choose the most lucrative or popular domain, but to excel at what you're naturally gifted in. Rabil points out that you don't get to choose your niche or how well-followed that niche will be. The reward comes from pursuing excellence in your domain regardless of its popularity or financial potential. This perspective helped Rabil embrace his lacrosse career despite its limited financial rewards compared to football.

8. Game recognizes game

Despite vast differences in the scale and economics of different sports, elite performers share a common wavelength that transcends their specific domains. This special understanding exists among those who have crossed over from amateur to professional mindsets, regardless of their sport or field.

This shared frequency develops only after one has truly "turned pro" in Steven Pressfield's sense—making the psychological shift to approach one's work with complete dedication and professionalism. The mutual recognition among elite performers comes from understanding the sacrifices, mental challenges, and dedication required to operate at the highest level. This creates a kind of exclusive understanding among those who have committed fully to their craft.

9. Balancing edge with wellbeing

Rabil struggled for years with the belief that his competitive edge came from a relentless, often unhealthy mindset. After losses, he would stay up all night mentally replaying every mistake. Even after wins, he would obsess over what he could have done better. This approach proved unsustainable.

Working with sports psychologists, Rabil developed tactics and boundaries to maintain his competitive fire while preserving his wellbeing. He created new routines, like avoiding game tape immediately after matches and focusing instead on recovery. He learned to embrace nervousness as his body's way of priming for performance rather than trying to eliminate it. This balanced approach ultimately extended his career and improved his life satisfaction.

10. Working smarter and harder

The common advice to "work smarter, not harder" presents a false dichotomy. Rabil believes peak performers must do both. The key is directing hard work strategically while developing sustainable practices that preserve long-term performance.

Tiger Woods exemplifies this principle. At the height of his success, Woods made the counterintuitive decision to completely rebuild his swing. This initially caused a performance dip but ultimately led to even greater success. The ability to make strategic investments in improvement, even at the cost of short-term results, separates truly great performers from merely good ones. The willingness to endure temporary setbacks for long-term growth characterizes elite performance across domains.