No. 1 Communication Expert: This Speaking Mistake Makes People Dislike You! Vinh Giang

Here are the top 10 communication lessons from Vinh Giang's masterclass on "The Diary of A CEO" podcast that will transform how you connect with others.

1. Your voice is an instrument, not just a tool

Your voice is like a musical instrument with immense potential for expression, not merely a functional tool. Vinh learned this from his first vocal teacher, who demonstrated that just as a piano can create different emotions through its notes, your voice can similarly evoke various feelings through how you use it.

This realization transforms how people approach communication. Instead of viewing their voice as something they're stuck with, they can see it as something they can play with and develop. Much like musicians practice their instruments, we can practice using our voice to create different effects, emotions, and impacts on our listeners.

2. The five vocal foundations

Effective speakers master five core vocal elements: melody (pitch variety), volume (dynamic range), rate of speech (speed variation), tonality (emotional expression), and pause (strategic silence). These foundations give speakers a full range of expressiveness.

Melody refers to the different notes you hit with your voice, creating variety rather than monotony. Volume isn't just about being loud but knowing when to get quieter for effect. Rate of speech involves strategic acceleration and deceleration to maintain interest. Tonality connects to facial expressions and emotions in your voice. Pauses intensify the emotion that came before them and give listeners time to process what you've said.

These foundations work together to create a rich, engaging vocal performance that keeps listeners interested and emotionally connected to your message.

3. Communication skills can be learned by anyone

Everyone can dramatically improve their communication skills in three to six months with dedicated practice. This applies regardless of whether you consider yourself shy, introverted, or even if English isn't your first language.

Vinh himself is a perfect example of this transformation. English was his third language after a Chinese dialect and Vietnamese. He experienced bullying and isolation in school due to his limited English skills. Yet he eventually became a professional speaker who teaches communication to others. This journey proves that communication ability isn't fixed but can be developed like any other skill.

The key is adopting a growth mindset and being willing to practice new behaviors consistently. Many people get stuck in patterns they've repeated for decades, becoming "experts" at behaviors that limit them rather than serve them.

4. Record and review to transform your speaking

The three-step "record and review" process is a powerful method to improve communication skills. First, record yourself speaking impromptu for five minutes. Then wait a day before reviewing it to avoid immediate negative reactions to seeing yourself.

Listen without watching (audio review) to assess your vocal patterns and identify areas for improvement. Next, watch without sound (visual review) to observe your body language, gestures, and physical habits. Finally, get the recording transcribed to see patterns in your language, repetition, and filler words.

After this analysis, focus on improving just one element at a time until you see real change. This targeted approach prevents overwhelm and develops lasting improvement. The process reveals blind spots in your communication style that you'd never notice otherwise.

5. Changing your communication identity

Most people remain trapped in their current communication style because they believe it represents who they truly are. They reject new communication behaviors as "fake" or "not me." This limiting belief prevents growth and change.

The reality is that your current speaking style isn't your "natural voice" but a collection of habits you've acquired over time. You likely developed your speaking patterns by imitating people who influenced you when you were young. These behaviors became automatic and subconscious through repetition, making them feel like an unchangeable part of your identity.

Real transformation happens when you adopt a new mindset: "Don't be so attached to who you are in the present that you don't give the future version of you a chance." This perspective allows you to try new communication behaviors without the mental block of feeling inauthentic. You're not being fake – you're just accessing different capabilities you already possess.

6. Master hand gestures to increase presence

Hand gestures significantly impact how people perceive your confidence and authority. Many shy speakers keep their hands below what Vinh calls the "power sphere" – the area between your belly button and eyes. Working within this power sphere gives you more physical presence.

Vinh teaches several foundational hand gestures: the "placator" (palms up, showing openness), the "leveler" (palms down, showing authority), the "blamer" (pointing, showing direction), the "computer" (one hand on chin, showing thoughtfulness), and the "distractor" (a clap or pattern break to regain attention).

These gestures not only enhance your visual impact but also affect your voice. When you change your physical posture and gestures, your vocal quality naturally changes too. This mind-body connection explains why monotone voices often come from monotone bodies – changing one changes the other.

7. Online communication requires extra energy

When communicating virtually, you must give more of yourself energetically to create the same impact you would in person. Most people become less expressive on camera, losing their vocal variety and physical dynamism.

Vinh recommends several practical improvements for online presence. Position your camera to show your torso, not just your head, so people can see your gestures. Use proper lighting, including three-point lighting if possible. Invest in a quality external microphone and camera. Most importantly, be generous with your energy and expressiveness, amplifying your normal communication style.

This approach requires more effort but creates a much stronger connection with your audience. Think of energy as a form of currency – something you need to spend strategically. Sometimes conserving energy for important interactions (like Vinh did by staying in his hotel room before the podcast) enables you to be more impactful when it matters.

8. Moving beyond small talk with Hilo Buffalo

The "Hilo Buffalo" technique provides a framework for creating meaningful conversations. When meeting someone, share something that's going well for you (High), something challenging (Low), and something interesting about yourself (Buffalo). Then invite them to do the same.

This approach creates six potential conversation threads – three from you and three from them. It gives multiple opportunities for genuine connection rather than the single-thread gamble of conventional small talk. The technique requires vulnerability but produces much more meaningful interactions.

For situations that don't warrant deeper conversation, Vinh recommends the "3-2-1" framework for brief but valuable exchanges. Respond with either three steps to something, two types of something, or the one thing about a topic. This keeps responses concise while still providing value.

9. Storytelling transforms information delivery

Stories make your message more memorable and engaging than simply presenting information. The difference between reporting a story and reliving a story lies in using visual, auditory, and kinesthetic details to bring it to life.

Effective storytelling follows a structure: hook, struggle, breakthrough, and application. The hook captures attention; the struggle creates tension; the breakthrough provides resolution; and the application connects the story to a practical takeaway for the listener. This structure ensures your story serves a purpose beyond mere entertainment.

Many people in today's social media environment skip straight to tips and advice without building connection through stories first. When you incorporate storytelling, you create rapport before delivering information, making your message more likely to be received and remembered.

10. Finding balance between ambition and presence

One of Vinh's personal struggles is balancing professional ambition with being present as a father. This tension between career success and family connection reflects a broader challenge many face – knowing when "enough is enough" professionally.

His father's wisdom – "A king that knows the limits to his desires will rule a lifetime" – highlights the danger of endless ambition without boundaries. Finding this balance requires regular reflection on what truly matters and what brings genuine fulfillment. Vinh uses a "recalibrate" process every six months with a friend to assess which experiences made him feel good or bad, adjusting his priorities accordingly.

This approach recognizes that our identities and values evolve over time. What satisfied a previous version of yourself may not fulfill who you are now. The challenge is recognizing when you're pursuing goals aligned with your current self versus chasing objectives set by a past version of yourself that no longer reflects your true priorities.