If You Aren't Feeling Confident in Yourself, You Are Not Doing THIS! Feat. Brendon Burchard

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Ed Mylett and Brendon Burchard's conversation on building unshakeable self-confidence through accountability and intentional action.

1. Self-confidence is keeping promises you make to yourself

Self-confidence fundamentally comes down to developing a habit of keeping the commitments you make to yourself. When you consistently follow through on your personal promises, you build what can be called "self-integrity." This creates a foundation of trust between you and yourself. Over time, this pattern develops into genuine self-confidence because you know that when you say you'll do something, you actually do it.

The process works like building a reputation with yourself. Each kept promise adds to your internal credibility. Each broken promise erodes it. This is why people who struggle with confidence often have a history of making commitments to themselves and then failing to follow through. The solution isn't to stop making commitments, but to start with smaller, more achievable ones that you can actually keep.

2. Fear of judgment prevents people from being accountable

Most people struggle with accountability because they're terrified of being judged, both by themselves and others. This fear runs deep, often rooted in childhood experiences where failing to meet expectations resulted in anger or disappointment from parents or teachers. The prospect of setting a goal and potentially failing feels like inviting harsh judgment. This creates a pattern where people avoid making bold commitments altogether to protect themselves from potential embarrassment.

The fear operates on two levels: self-judgment and social judgment. Self-judgment involves the harsh internal critic that emerges when you don't measure up to your own standards. Social judgment involves worrying about what others will think if you fail to deliver on your promises. Both forms of judgment feel so uncomfortable that many people choose to avoid accountability entirely rather than risk experiencing these negative emotions.

3. Build momentum through small, achievable morning wins

Creating momentum starts with establishing small, simple habits that you can easily accomplish each morning. The key is choosing actions that are so manageable you literally cannot fail at them. This might include drinking water before getting out of bed, weighing yourself, or doing a one-minute plank. These micro-commitments may seem insignificant, but they create crucial psychological momentum.

The power lies in the cumulative effect of these small victories. Each completed action sends a signal to your brain that you're someone who follows through on commitments. This early morning success creates positive energy that carries throughout the day. As you build consistency with these simple habits, your confidence grows, and you naturally begin taking on bigger challenges.

The morning timing is crucial because it sets the tone for everything that follows. When you start your day by keeping promises to yourself, you enter a success mindset. This positive momentum makes it easier to tackle more challenging tasks later in the day.

4. Complete your most important tasks by 1 PM

The "done by one" principle involves completing your most critical, needle-moving activities before 1 PM each day. This isn't about finishing all work by early afternoon, but rather ensuring that your highest-priority, most impactful tasks are completed while your energy and focus are at their peak. The major presentation, creative work, important phone calls, or strategic planning should all happen in the morning hours.

This approach creates tremendous confidence because you know that regardless of what happens later in the day, you've already accomplished what matters most. The afternoon can be spent on follow-up activities, administrative tasks, meetings, and other necessary but less critical work. This gives you a sense of control and achievement that fuels confidence throughout the day.

Many people wait until later in the day to tackle their most important work, often due to procrastination or poor prioritization. By that time, decision fatigue and energy depletion make these tasks feel even more daunting. Completing them early creates a victory that energizes rather than drains you.

5. Avoid comparison and start from where you are

Comparison is one of the biggest destroyers of self-confidence, whether you're comparing yourself to others or to your past self. The key is accepting your current reality and building from that foundation rather than measuring yourself against unrealistic standards. This means acknowledging your current limitations, circumstances, and starting point without judgment. Your confidence journey must begin from your actual present situation, not from where you think you should be.

The comparison trap works in multiple ways. Comparing to others creates feelings of inadequacy because you're usually comparing your internal struggles to someone else's external success. Comparing to your past self can be equally destructive, especially if you've experienced setbacks due to health, circumstances, or life changes. Neither comparison serves your growth or confidence.

Starting from where you are means being honest about your current capabilities while maintaining belief in your potential for growth. This approach allows you to celebrate small improvements and build genuine momentum rather than feeling constantly defeated by unrealistic expectations.

6. Confidence requires both planning and honest follow-through

Building confidence requires two fundamental elements: having a clear plan and maintaining honesty about whether you're following that plan. The plan doesn't need to be complex, but it must be specific enough that you know exactly what actions to take. Without structure, self-doubt easily creeps in because you're operating without direction. A simple, actionable plan provides the roadmap for building confidence through consistent execution.

Honesty about follow-through means being truthful with yourself about whether you're actually doing what you said you would do. This requires regular self-assessment and the courage to acknowledge when you're falling short. Many people create plans but then avoid honestly evaluating their progress because they fear confronting their lack of follow-through.

The combination of planning and honesty creates a feedback loop that strengthens confidence. When you make a plan and honestly follow it, you build trust in your ability to execute. When you make a plan and honestly acknowledge you're not following it, you can make adjustments rather than living in denial.

7. Connect to a higher purpose for ultimate accountability

The deepest level of accountability comes from connecting to something greater than yourself, whether that's a divine calling, service to others, or a sense of destiny. This creates accountability that transcends external pressure or personal comfort. When you believe you have a higher purpose or calling, failing to pursue your potential feels like betraying something sacred. This type of accountability is internally generated and sustained, making it incredibly powerful for building lasting confidence.

This higher purpose accountability recognizes that every person has an inherent drive to become more than they currently are. Whether expressed through spiritual beliefs, service to family, or contribution to society, this calling creates natural accountability. The confidence that emerges from pursuing this growth is deep and sustainable because it's connected to meaning rather than just achievement.

The key is identifying what that higher purpose means for you personally. It might be spiritual service, family legacy, professional impact, or community contribution. Once identified, this purpose becomes a source of accountability that pulls you forward even when motivation wanes.

8. Generosity and contribution amplify confidence

True confidence comes not just from personal achievement but from generous contribution to others. When you consistently add value to other people's lives through your energy, skills, time, or resources, you develop unshakeable confidence in your worth. This confidence isn't dependent on external validation because it's built on the solid foundation of making a positive difference. People who focus primarily on their own comfort and boundaries often struggle with confidence because they're not exercising their capacity to contribute.

Generosity builds confidence because it requires you to step outside yourself and use your abilities in service of others. This process reveals capabilities you might not have known you possessed. Each act of generous contribution proves to yourself that you have something valuable to offer the world. This is fundamentally different from confidence based solely on personal achievement or external recognition.

The advice to "get overextended" challenges the modern emphasis on boundaries and self-protection. While healthy boundaries are important, many people use them as excuses to avoid the discomfort of stretching themselves. Periodically pushing beyond your comfort zone through generous service reveals your true capacity and builds authentic confidence.

9. Personal growth pursuit naturally builds confidence

People who actively pursue personal growth tend to be more confident because the growth process itself requires making commitments, taking on challenges, and keeping promises to yourself. Every time you engage in learning, skill development, or self-improvement, you're proving to yourself that you're capable of change and growth. This creates a positive cycle where growth builds confidence, and confidence enables more growth.

The growth mindset approach to setbacks also builds confidence. Instead of viewing failures as evidence of inadequacy, personal growth enthusiasts see them as learning opportunities and stepping stones to improvement. This perspective transforms potentially confidence-damaging experiences into confidence-building ones. Each challenge overcome becomes proof of resilience and capability.

Personal growth pursuit also helps you develop the meta-skill of learning itself. As you become more proficient at acquiring new skills, solving problems, and adapting to challenges, your confidence in your ability to handle whatever life brings naturally increases.

10. Aim for greatness rather than just feeling good

Instead of settling for simply feeling good about yourself, the goal should be developing the confidence to feel exceptional, powerful, and in command of your life. This higher standard requires moving beyond basic self-acceptance to building genuine competence and capability. Feeling good might be the starting point, but it shouldn't be the endpoint. True confidence comes from knowing you can create, generate, and handle whatever challenges come your way.

This level of confidence isn't built through positive thinking alone but through demonstrated competence across multiple areas of life. Character, core habits, skill mastery, and contribution all work together to create unshakeable confidence. When you've proven to yourself that you can follow through on commitments, master difficult skills, and add value to others' lives, you develop confidence that can withstand comparison and criticism.

The distinction between wanting to do a good job versus wanting to become great reflects this higher standard. Good might be acceptable, but greatness requires pushing beyond comfort zones and ordinary expectations. This pursuit of greatness, fueled by generous contribution to others, creates the kind of confidence that transforms not just how you feel about yourself, but what you're actually capable of achieving.