Manage Your Mental Mess and Change Your Life in 5 steps

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Dr. Caroline Leaf's appearance on The Ed Mylett Show, where she reveals how to rewire your brain and transform your mental health in just 63 days.

1. Mind and brain are separate but connected entities

Your mind is not the same as your brain, though they work together inseparably. The brain is physical matter made up of 37 to 100 trillion cells that form structures like neurons and organs. Your mind, however, is the external force that keeps everything functioning - controlling blood flow, chemicals, electricity, and electromagnetics throughout your body.

When your mind isn't properly managed, your brain and body become messy too. This connection goes so deep that poor mental management can cause you to lose up to 80% of nutrition from food. Even if you eat a perfect farm-to-table diet, unresolved anxiety or toxic thoughts will impair your digestive system's ability to absorb nutrients.

The mind operates continuously - you can survive three weeks without food, three days without water, and three minutes without oxygen, but not even three seconds without using your mind. Since you're always thinking, feeling, and choosing, mind management becomes essential for overall health and functioning.

2. The five-step neuro cycle can rewire your brain in 63 days

The neuro cycle consists of five sequential steps that help you manage your mind and direct neuroplasticity. First, gather awareness by consciously observing your emotions, behaviors, physical sensations, and perspectives like picking apples from a tree. Second, reflect by asking "why" about each signal you've gathered, going deeper without trying to solve everything at once.

Third, write down everything you've discovered using a non-linear approach - dump thoughts all over the page in circles, branches, and colors rather than straight lines. This dimensional writing forces both sides of your brain to work together. Fourth, recheck by identifying triggers and patterns from what you've written, moving toward reconstruction and healing.

Fifth, create an active reach - an action, visualization, statement, or technique that keeps you in a safe space for the day. This could be as simple as saying "I can do this" while visualizing a rainbow, or using a breathing technique. Following this cycle consistently for 63 days can literally change who you are as a person.

3. Awareness of thoughts diminishes their power over you

When you become aware of your thought patterns, they begin to lose their influence and control over your behavior. This happens because awareness creates separation between you and the thought itself. Instead of being consumed by the thought, you become the observer standing back and watching it.

This observational stance is like stepping away from an apple tree where apples are falling on your head. Rather than running away or being overwhelmed, you create distance and watch what's happening. This conscious awareness allows you to see patterns and connections you might otherwise miss.

The key is not to be scared of messy thoughts or try to immediately fix them. Simply observe and gather information about what's occurring in your mental space. This process alone begins to weaken the neural pathways that support problematic thought patterns.

4. Physical movement and coordination exercises boost brain development

The cerebellum, often called the "Rodney Dangerfield" of the brain, comprises only 10% of brain volume but contains half of all brain neurons. Coordination exercises like tennis, table tennis, pickleball, and racquetball specifically develop this crucial brain region. These activities require split-second timing and hand-eye coordination that challenges the cerebellum in beneficial ways.

Physical movement serves as a pathway out of negative emotions and mental states. When you change your physiology through movement, you often change your mental state as well. This is particularly important for children, who benefit from outdoor play and physical activity rather than sedentary screen time.

The body stores memories in cells, creating what we call "body memory." This is why movement can unlock emotions and insights during the neuro cycle process. Physical activity can be incorporated at any step of the five-step process to enhance its effectiveness.

5. Sleep problems often stem from unresolved issues rather than sleep hygiene

Most sleep difficulties aren't caused by external factors like room temperature or white noise, though these can help. The primary reason people struggle with sleep is unresolved emotional or psychological issues occupying their mental space. When your mind is processing unresolved trauma, conflicts, or worries, it prevents the natural transition into restful sleep.

Dr. Leaf shares a case study of an eight-year-old who suffered physical and sexual abuse from three months of age and couldn't sleep despite trying every sleep aid and technique available. Once the child began using the neuro cycle to process the trauma, sleep improved within four days. The core issue wasn't sleep hygiene but unresolved psychological wounds.

Preparing for quality sleep actually begins when you wake up in the morning. Taking a quick assessment of your four signals - emotions, behaviors, body sensations, and perspective - upon waking sets your mind up for better sleep that night. This morning practice creates mental clarity that carries through the entire day.

6. Modern technology and social media hijack developing brains

Technology companies like Apple, Facebook, and TikTok employ neuroscientists specifically to keep users engaged longer. Their goal is maximizing "mind share," essentially stealing the mental resources of entire generations. The average person spends 3.5 to 4 hours daily on social media - time that could be used for meaningful activities and real-world connections.

Children's brains aren't fully developed until age 25, with the prefrontal cortex responsible for focus, judgment, and impulse control being the last region to mature. Exposing developing brains to technology designed to be addictive creates particular vulnerabilities. The recommendation is to delay social media exposure as long as possible, ideally not allowing 10-year-olds on these platforms.

The issue isn't that technology is inherently bad, but that we need to learn how to manage our immersion in digital environments. Previous generations experienced bullying only at school, but today's children face 24/7 digital harassment that follows them home. Learning to manage this constant stimulation becomes crucial for mental health.

7. Prayer and spiritual practices enhance the neuro cycle process

Prayer serves as a powerful tool for transferring burdens to a higher power, whether you call it God, love, or universal consciousness. This practice allows you to organize your thoughts while connecting to something greater than yourself. Prayer naturally incorporates the five steps of the neuro cycle - gathering awareness of what you're feeling, reflecting on why, expressing it verbally, and finding peace through spiritual connection.

The spiritual dimension taps into what's called the "nonconscious" mind, which operates like a gentle guide always looking out for your best interests. When you pray or engage in spiritual practices, you're accessing deeper levels of wisdom and intelligence that reside beyond conscious thought. This process changes brain wave patterns, particularly increasing gamma waves associated with heightened awareness.

Children especially benefit from prayer practices before sleep because it gives them permission to express their concerns and feel protected. Rather than carrying the weight of daily stresses into sleep, prayer provides a mechanism for release and trust that supports better rest and emotional regulation.

8. Visualization works best when starting with past successes

Rather than immediately trying to visualize future goals, start by recalling highlight moments from your past - achievements, victories, and positive experiences your brain has already encoded. These memories are easily accessible because they're familiar neural pathways with established emotional connections. Beginning with past successes puts your brain in a state of resilience and confidence.

This technique works because you're essentially creating an "insurance policy" of positive experiences. When you recall past victories, you activate gamma brain waves and increase your wisdom and intelligence levels. This creates an optimal mental state for then visualizing future goals and ambitions.

The brain doesn't distinguish between vividly imagined experiences and real ones when it comes to building neural pathways. By starting with real positive memories and then transitioning to future visualizations, you create a continuous highlight reel that your brain interprets as one cohesive experience of success.

9. Medications are drugs that provide temporary relief, not cures

There's an important distinction between medicines and drugs that many people don't understand. Medicines like insulin for diabetes target specific biological problems that can be tested and measured. Drugs, including psychiatric medications, are psychoactive substances that change brain states temporarily without fixing underlying issues.

The chemical imbalance theory of mental illness has been largely disproven, yet many people still believe antidepressants correct brain chemistry problems. Instead, these medications provide temporary symptom relief similar to taking ibuprofen for a headache. The goal should be addressing root causes rather than managing symptoms indefinitely.

If someone is in an extreme mental state, medications might provide temporary stabilization while working on underlying issues. However, viewing mental health challenges as responses to life circumstances rather than brain diseases offers more hope and empowerment for genuine healing and growth.

10. Dopamine drives pursuit rather than achievement satisfaction

Dopamine isn't released when you achieve a goal - it's released when you're moving toward something and making progress. This neurotransmitter acts like a jet propulsion system, pushing you forward on the path rather than rewarding you at the finish line. Understanding this changes how you approach happiness and motivation.

This explains why many people feel empty after achieving major goals they thought would bring lasting satisfaction. The happiness comes from the pursuit itself, not the attainment. This means you don't have to wait until you reach your destination to experience fulfillment - you can access it immediately by beginning to pursue something meaningful.

The practical application is profound: rather than telling yourself you'll be happy "when" you achieve something, you can find happiness in the process of growth and progress. This shifts your entire relationship with goals from outcome-dependent satisfaction to process-oriented fulfillment that's available every day.