The Secret to Winning in Life: Playing Hurt and Leading Strong! Feat. Deion Sanders
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Ed Mylett's conversation with Deion "Coach Prime" Sanders about resilience, leadership, and what it truly takes to win in life.
1. Everyone is playing hurt in life
Life inevitably presents challenges that affect everyone simultaneously. Whether it's divorce, financial problems, health issues, workplace conflicts, or family struggles, we're all dealing with some form of pain or difficulty. The key insight is recognizing that these challenges are universal rather than unique personal burdens.
Sanders emphasizes that everything will never be perfect, so waiting for ideal conditions means never taking action. Success comes from learning to perform at your highest level despite the hurt, discomfort, or adversity you're experiencing. This mindset shift transforms obstacles from excuses into opportunities for growth and resilience.
The ability to "play hurt" becomes a separator between those who achieve greatness and those who remain average. It's about maintaining focus on your goals and giving everything you have to make today successful, regardless of the circumstances trying to distract you from your purpose.
2. Morning routines create unshakeable peace
Establishing sacred morning time provides the foundation for handling everything life throws at you. Sanders describes his morning routine as non-negotiable sanctuary time where he connects with his faith and mentally prepares for the day ahead. This isn't just about productivity—it's about protecting your inner peace and mental clarity.
The morning routine serves multiple purposes: processing thoughts from yesterday, preparing mentally for today's challenges, and creating a strategic plan to dominate the day ahead. Sanders warns against allowing disruptions during this time because external chaos can infiltrate your internal peace if you're not careful.
Protection of this morning peace becomes crucial because once you lose it, it affects everything else in your day. The quality of what comes inside your mind typically manifests in your external actions and results, making this protected time essential for maintaining consistent high performance.
3. Control your emotional remote control
Taking ownership of your emotional responses means recognizing you have the power to adjust your internal state. Sanders uses the metaphor of having a remote control for your life—you can turn yourself up, turn yourself down, add energy, or change your perspective as needed. This isn't about suppressing emotions but about conscious emotional regulation.
After 56 years of life experience, Sanders knows exactly what triggers different emotional responses in himself. This self-awareness allows him to anticipate and manage his reactions rather than being surprised by them. He refuses to let external circumstances control his internal state for an entire day.
The key principle is allowing yourself bad moments or even bad hours, but never permitting a full bad day. This requires active intervention when negative emotions arise, using your "remote control" to consciously shift your state back toward positivity and productivity.
4. Confidence comes from preparation
True confidence isn't arrogance or false bravado—it's the natural result of thorough preparation. Sanders explains how his confidence as a player came from extensive study and preparation, not from natural talent alone. He knew receiver patterns so well that he could anticipate routes before they happened because he had done the work.
Preparation creates genuine confidence because you've already mentally rehearsed the scenarios you'll face. When you've studied, practiced, and prepared extensively, you naturally walk with assurance because you know you're ready for whatever comes. This kind of confidence is earned through effort rather than assumed through ego.
The distinction between confidence and arrogance lies in preparation. Confident people have done the work and earned their self-assurance, while arrogant people project false confidence without the foundation of preparation. Sanders advocates for making confidence your "natural odor"—something that emanates from you because it's genuinely earned.
5. Leaders versus dogs serve different purposes
Not every team member needs to be a leader, and not every leader needs to be the most aggressive fighter. Sanders distinguishes between leaders who inspire through example and vision, and "dogs" who bring intensity and willingness to engage in confrontation when necessary. Both roles are essential for team success.
Leaders possess an infectious quality that makes people want to follow them, listen to them, and believe in their vision. This leadership doesn't require being the loudest voice or walking at the front of the group. Sometimes the most effective leaders lead through consistent actions rather than speeches or vocal motivation.
Dogs, on the other hand, are the people you can count on to "swing first" when conflict arises. They're the ones who won't back down from confrontation and will fight for the team when necessary. Understanding which role you naturally fill—and when you might need to access the other—helps you contribute most effectively to any group or organization.
6. Authenticity attracts in a fake world
In a world where people can purchase almost any appearance or persona they desire, authenticity becomes increasingly rare and valuable. People are naturally drawn to those who are genuine about their struggles, mistakes, and imperfections because it feels real in contrast to the manufactured images surrounding us.
Sanders explains that success in entertainment, business, and relationships comes from allowing people to know the real you, including your flaws. When public figures or leaders admit their mistakes and share their learning experiences, it creates connection rather than perfect distance. This vulnerability doesn't weaken leadership—it strengthens it.
The most successful people today are those who can stand up and say "I did that, I messed up, but here's what I learned." This honesty about failure and growth resonates because it acknowledges the shared human experience of making mistakes and learning from them.
7. Find your rabbit to discover your why
Every person needs something that drives them forward—Sanders calls this your "rabbit," referencing the mechanical rabbit that greyhounds chase around the track. Your rabbit is the goal or motivation that gets you up in the morning and keeps you pursuing excellence even when you're tired or discouraged.
For Sanders, his rabbit was the promise he made to his mother at age seven that she would never have to work again once he became successful. This driving force sustained him through his entire career and continues to motivate him today. Your rabbit must be something you can visualize and feel emotionally connected to, not just a fantasy.
The rabbit needs to be close enough that you believe you can catch it, but always moving forward to maintain the chase. It can't be so far away that it seems impossible, nor so close that you lose motivation once you achieve it. The best rabbits evolve as you grow, always providing that next level of challenge and purpose.
8. Obsession is required for extraordinary success
True winners understand that extraordinary results require extraordinary commitment, which often looks like obsession to others. This level of commitment means that winning becomes more than a goal—it becomes a driving need that influences every decision and priority in your life.
Sanders and his guests discuss how real winners carry their "skeletons" (fears, doubts, pressures) with them everywhere they go, including on private jets and in quiet moments. These internal visitors never fully disappear, but successful people learn to acknowledge them and use them as fuel rather than allowing them to become paralyzing forces.
The conversation reveals that achieving at the highest levels comes with a cost that most people aren't willing to pay. This includes sleepless nights, constant pressure, and the weight of expectations. Understanding this cost upfront helps people make informed decisions about whether they truly want to pursue extraordinary success.
9. You're most qualified to help who you used to be
Your greatest ability to impact others comes from helping people who are struggling with the same issues you've overcome. Sanders explains this principle as the reason he's drawn to working with young men who face challenges similar to his own past experiences. Your personal transformation gives you unique credibility and understanding.
This principle explains why many successful people feel called to mentor others or share their stories publicly. The pain, struggle, and eventual breakthrough you've experienced provides you with insights that can't be gained through academic study or observation alone. Your lived experience becomes your greatest qualification.
Rather than hiding from your past struggles or feeling ashamed of them, this perspective encourages embracing them as preparation for your purpose. Every challenge you've overcome has equipped you to guide someone else through similar difficulties with authentic understanding and practical wisdom.
10. Change your environment to change your life
Your environment has more influence on your growth and success than your willpower or good intentions. Just as a flower will die in the wrong environment regardless of its beauty, people struggle to grow when surrounded by limiting influences, negative people, or stagnant circumstances.
Changing your environment doesn't necessarily mean moving to a new city or changing jobs, though it might. It can mean joining new communities, consuming different content, associating with different people, or participating in growth-oriented groups. The key is surrounding yourself with influences that support the person you want to become.
Sanders emphasizes that you shouldn't feel guilty about recognizing your worth and making changes to support your growth. This might mean distancing yourself from people who don't support your goals or seeking out new environments that challenge you to rise to a higher level of performance and thinking.