Why Most People Fail After Success—And How to Avoid It Feat. Molly Fletcher
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Ed Mylett's conversation with former sports agent turned speaker Molly Fletcher about why most people fail after achieving success and how to build sustainable excellence instead.
1. Achievement kills drive more than failure does
Success creates a dangerous trap that most people fall into without realizing it. When someone achieves their goal—whether it's making six figures, getting promoted, or winning a championship—they often lose the hunger that got them there in the first place. The achievement becomes a finish line rather than a milestone.
Elite performers understand this paradox and use success as fuel rather than satisfaction. When Tiger Woods won a major, he immediately focused on catching Jack Nicklaus's record rather than celebrating. Great athletes don't party for weeks after winning; they're back to work the next morning. They treat achievements as stepping stones, not destinations.
The most dangerous time in anyone's career is right after they succeed. This is when complacency creeps in and the drive that created success begins to fade. The rarest thing in life isn't becoming successful—it's sustaining that success over time.
2. Focus on process over outcomes to maintain peak performance
Top performers don't wake up obsessing about winning championships or hitting revenue targets. Instead, they focus intensely on getting slightly better each day through deliberate practice and improvement. This process-focused mindset keeps them present rather than distracted by future results.
When you're outcome-focused, you're automatically not present because that outcome exists in the future. This creates additional pressure and often leads to poor performance. It's like focusing on your golf score while putting instead of focusing on your stroke mechanics. The outcome obsession actually prevents you from achieving the outcome you want.
Great coaches teach their players to "be where your feet are." This means focusing entirely on the controllable actions in the current moment. John Wooden never talked about winning, yet he won more championships than any coach in history because he focused his players on daily improvement rather than external validation.
3. Energy management trumps time management for sustained success
Most people operate from their calendars, fitting important activities around their scheduled commitments. Peak performers flip this approach entirely—they schedule their energy-giving activities first, then fill in everything else around them. This fundamental shift protects their most precious resource.
Energy operates differently than time. You can't create more hours in a day, but you can dramatically increase your energy reserves through intentional choices. Elite athletes understand this principle and structure their entire lives around maintaining peak energy levels when it matters most.
If you don't decide where to put your energy, everyone else will decide for you. The world will constantly drain your reserves through meetings, obligations, and distractions that don't align with your priorities. Protecting your energy requires the same discipline as protecting your money—you must be intentional about where you invest it.
4. Alignment beats balance every time
The concept of work-life balance is fundamentally flawed because it suggests everything should be perfectly equal at all times. This creates an impossible standard that leads to constant guilt and frustration. Successful people, especially women juggling multiple roles, need a different framework entirely.
Alignment means showing up as the best version of yourself in each role you play, even when those roles demand different levels of attention at different times. Some seasons require more focus on career growth, others on family needs. The key is being intentional about these choices rather than trying to keep everything perfectly balanced.
Creating alignment starts with identifying your most important roles and rating how you're performing in each area. When you see gaps between what matters most and where you're actually investing your time and energy, you can make conscious adjustments. This approach reduces guilt because your choices become strategic rather than reactive.
5. Curiosity and coachability separate champions from everyone else
Great performers actively seek feedback and coaching, even when it's uncomfortable. They ask questions like "How can I get better?" and "What did I do wrong?" rather than seeking validation. This hunger for improvement becomes a competitive advantage because most people avoid difficult feedback.
The best athletes assume criticism is correct first, then evaluate whether it applies. This approach turns defensiveness into curiosity, creating opportunities for rapid growth. They understand that feedback is data, not a personal attack on their character or abilities.
Elite performers also welcome obstacles as opportunities to improve rather than roadblocks to avoid. They're ridiculously disciplined about pushing themselves into uncomfortable territory because that's where growth happens. This mindset shift—from avoiding challenges to embracing them—separates temporary success from sustained excellence.
6. Don't tell talented people they're naturally gifted
When parents or coaches constantly praise natural talent, they create a dangerous mindset in young performers. The child begins to believe that talent alone is sufficient for success, which reduces their motivation to work hard and improve. This becomes a ceiling on their potential development.
Everyone who reaches elite levels is talented—that's table stakes. What separates those who stay at the top from those who flame out is their willingness to outwork their talent. Natural ability gets you noticed, but sustained effort and improvement keep you relevant when the competition intensifies.
The most successful people don't rely on their gifts; they treat talent as a starting point rather than an endpoint. They understand that in any competitive environment, everyone has ability. The differentiator becomes who's willing to do the unglamorous work of continuous improvement when no one is watching.
7. Anchor everything in purpose to overcome inevitable obstacles
When your drive is connected to external achievements like money, titles, or recognition, it becomes finite and fragile. These motivators lose their power once you attain them or when you face significant setbacks. Purpose-driven motivation, however, remains constant regardless of circumstances.
Peak performers know their "why" at a deep level. They can articulate who they want at their 90th birthday party and what they want written on their tombstone. This clarity becomes fuel during difficult periods when external rewards aren't sufficient to push through obstacles.
Without purpose anchoring your efforts, speed bumps become roadblocks. When you know why you're pursuing excellence beyond personal gain, challenges become merely inconvenient rather than insurmountable. The drive becomes sustainable because it's connected to something larger than temporary achievements.
8. Success without fulfillment creates internal disaster
Many people achieve everything they thought they wanted—the house, the money, the title, the recognition—yet feel completely empty inside. This happens when success is pursued for external validation rather than internal satisfaction. The achievements fill up their resume but not their soul.
External success can actually mask internal problems for years. People can appear highly successful while struggling with loneliness, depression, or a complete lack of meaning in their daily activities. The material achievements become a facade that hides deeper issues rather than solving them.
True fulfillment comes from aligning your behavior with the legacy you want to leave. This means making decisions based on who you want to impact and how you want to be remembered, not just what you want to accumulate. When your actions serve a purpose beyond yourself, success becomes a byproduct of meaningful work rather than an empty pursuit.
9. Reinvention is essential for sustained excellence
The greatest performers continually evolve and reinvent themselves throughout their careers. Tom Brady's career after age 35 alone would rank as one of the greatest quarterback careers in NFL history. This wasn't accidental—it required conscious adaptation and improvement as his physical abilities changed.
Reinvention starts with regularly auditing your current path and asking whether it still aligns with who you want to become. Many people continue pursuing goals they set decades ago without questioning whether those objectives still serve them. This unconscious momentum can lead to years of misdirected effort.
The best time to consider change is often when you're successful in your current role, not when you're struggling. Comfort and competence can become traps that prevent growth. Having the courage to leave something you're good at for something you're passionate about often leads to your greatest contributions.
10. Confidence comes through action, not thinking
Confidence isn't built through positive self-talk or visualization alone—it comes from taking action and accumulating evidence of your capabilities. Each time you do something difficult or uncomfortable, you prove to yourself that you can handle challenges, which builds genuine self-assurance.
You can't think your way into confidence while sitting in a corner. Peak performers get more comfortable and confident through repetition and experience. Every rep in practice, every difficult conversation, every challenge overcome adds to their confidence bank account.
This is why taking action is so crucial, even when you don't feel ready. The doing creates the confidence, not the other way around. Waiting until you feel confident enough to act often means waiting forever, because confidence is the result of action, not the prerequisite for it.