Jordan Peterson: How to Spot Hidden Manipulators (Most People Miss These Signs)
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Jordan Peterson's conversation with Jay Shetty that will help you spot hidden manipulators and understand their psychological tactics.
1. The dark tetrad personality types
Jordan Peterson explains that society and individual psyches are threatened by what psychologists call the "dark tetrad" personality traits. These include narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism. Everyone has these impulses to some degree, but certain individuals are primarily characterized by these motivations.
These personality types are particularly dangerous in social contexts because they exploit others for their own gain. Peterson notes that societies have evolved mechanisms to keep these tendencies under control in normal social interactions. However, many of these protective mechanisms are absent in online environments, creating dangerous situations where manipulative individuals can thrive.
2. The problem with social media communication
Peterson identifies a serious technical problem with social media platforms: they strip away the evolved mechanisms that regulate face-to-face discourse. This creates an environment where exploitative, sadistic individuals have free reign because they aren't held responsible for their utterances. Their inflammatory content is rewarded by algorithms that capitalize on emotional arousal.
The anonymity of online platforms exacerbates this problem. Research shows that normal people behave much more negatively when anonymized. This combination of algorithm-driven rewards for inflammatory content and anonymity creates what Peterson calls a "toxic combination." He believes this issue is so significant that it could be "civilization threatening" due to the immense power of electronically mediated communication networks.
3. How to identify bad actors online
Peterson offers practical advice for identifying manipulative individuals online. If someone is anonymous, they are immediately questionable. If they use an anonymous account with a "demonic" or "Luciferian" name, they are even more suspect. Use of derisive language like "LOL" or "LMFAO" can also indicate bad actors.
He suggests that implementing barriers to entry, such as payment requirements for social media participation, could help reduce these problems. On his own platform, Peterson Academy, they've found that requiring payment eliminates many bad actors because it prevents people from creating multiple troll accounts at no cost. Peterson also advocates for separating verified accounts from anonymous ones on platforms like Twitter, so users can choose whether to engage with unverified accounts.
4. The impact of the sexual revolution on relationships
Peterson discusses an unintended consequence of the sexual revolution: the changing dynamics in male-female relationships. He explains that research shows men who prefer short-term mating opportunities tend to score higher on psychopathic, narcissistic, Machiavellian, and sadistic traits compared to men who prefer long-term committed relationships.
As a result, Peterson suggests that the sexual revolution's liberation of women has inadvertently delivered them to interactions with more psychopathic men. Dating apps and casual hook-up culture provide an open playing field for manipulative individuals. He notes that historically, women protected themselves by not dating people outside their social networks, as psychopathic individuals typically struggle to maintain social connections.
5. The traumatic impact of encountering malevolence
Peterson makes a profound observation about trauma: most people with post-traumatic stress disorder don't have it because they were hurt physically; they have it because they encountered someone who deliberately wanted to hurt them. People can experience terrible accidents, illnesses, or pain without being traumatized, but encountering genuine malevolence can fracture a person's psyche.
He emphasizes the severity of this impact in stark terms, stating that the worst of terrible people are "so bad that if you ever got a look inside their mind, you would never recover." This insight highlights the deeply damaging nature of encountering true malice. Peterson notes that many of these malevolent individuals now have free rein online, creating even more opportunities for harm.
6. The call to adventure as a life purpose
In discussing the biblical story of Abraham, Peterson describes how God represents the "call to adventure" that pulls people beyond their comfort zones. Abraham receives a specific offer: leave the comforts of home to voyage into the unknown. The divine promise is that following this call will make his life a blessing to himself, earn him deserved recognition among peers, establish something of lasting significance, and benefit everyone else.
Peterson sees this archetype as a template for individual development. Each person has their own call to adventure that compels them beyond their zone of comfort. When we follow this calling and make appropriate sacrifices along the way, we move toward a higher, more integrated form of being. This journey involves shedding traits, relationships, possessions, or situations that interfere with progress.
7. How to recognize your own call to adventure
For those who feel they've missed their call to adventure, Peterson offers practical advice. He suggests that people often don't notice their calling in its "micro manifestations." Our calling shows up in what grips us and disturbs us—these are the problems we're destined to contend with. Rather than being annoyed by problems, we should recognize them as potential responsibilities that can provide meaning.
Understanding your temperament can provide clues about your calling. People high in neuroticism tend to focus on safety and security. Agreeable people are relationship-focused, while disagreeable people are competitive. Conscientious individuals gravitate toward order and productivity, and those high in openness are drawn to aesthetics and ideas. By paying attention to what genuinely interests you and bothers you, you can discover your unique call to adventure.
8. The danger of false adventures
Peterson warns about the allure of "false adventures" that people pursue when they lack real purpose. These can take many forms: alcoholism, drug abuse, parasitical relationships, or destructive political activism. While these pursuits might seem exciting or intoxicating, they ultimately lead to harm rather than growth.
Conscience serves as a guide to distinguish between true and false adventures. When engaged in hedonistic behavior that feels good in the short term but causes long-term damage, our conscience typically signals that something is wrong. Peterson advises focusing on repeatability—actions that can be voluntarily repeated over time without causing damage. This naturally steers us away from short-term excitements that violate the propagation of adventure across time.
9. The power of pride as a fundamental weakness
When asked about the character flaw that most frequently causes people to fail, Peterson identifies pride. He describes pride as the presumption that you're right and above it all. This manifests as a significant obstacle because it's both annoying to others and an impediment to learning and growth.
Being open to learning requires constantly asking, "What am I doing wrong? What do I have to give up? What do I have to transform?" This can be painful but necessary. Peterson contrasts pride with humility—the willingness to learn from failure rather than blaming external factors. He cites the biblical story of Cain and Abel as the archetypal narrative of this dynamic, where Cain's pride leads to resentment, envy, and eventually violence, while Abel's humility leads to learning and growth.
10. The relationship between ethics and prosperity
Peterson argues that there's no meaningful distinction between the ability to generate genuine wealth and ethical conduct. In high-trust societies where honesty prevails and envy is discouraged, everyone can become prosperous. He cites Japan as an example—a country with few natural resources but tremendous wealth due to its high-trust culture.
For societies to achieve "unlimited abundance," Peterson believes there must be a transformation in ethical orientation. People need to conduct themselves honorably so they can trust each other and cooperate productively. This connection between character and economic progress is often overlooked in education. Maintaining high standards while helping people rise to meet them creates the foundation for both individual and societal flourishing.