LIZZO Opens Up About Her Weight Loss Journey & Letting Go of Toxic Relationships (EXCLUSIVE)
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Lizzo's vulnerable conversation with Jay Shetty, where she opens up about her journey through fame, personal struggles, and finding authentic connection in a world of digital noise.
1. Disconnection between public persona and self
Lizzo reveals a profound disconnection between her public image and her true self. She explains that fame transforms even authentic self-expression into something that no longer belongs to you. "It's not me anymore. Whoever Lizzo is to the world is not really even me. And that disconnect is depressing," she admits candidly.
This disconnection became particularly painful during a scandal when her public perception shifted dramatically. She felt that people were attributing qualities to her that weren't true to who she is. The only remedy she found was to continue being herself authentically, hoping that over time, people would see her for who she truly is.
2. Finding love in real life
A transformative moment occurred when Lizzo, after experiencing severe anxiety and depression, ventured out to a concert despite her fears. Instead of the rejection she anticipated, she was met with overwhelming love and support from strangers. This experience became the inspiration for her album title "Love in Real Life."
She realized that genuine connection can't be found online. "You can't get this kind of love on the internet. You can't," she emphasizes. This epiphany helped her understand that validation from social media is fleeting and often misleading. Real connections with people in the physical world provided the healing she needed during a difficult time in her life.
3. Turning pain into purpose
Lizzo describes her creative process as one of transforming personal struggles into art that helps others. She speaks about her "alchemy" of turning difficult experiences into "meaningfulness" and "acts of rebellious joy" that people can use in their own lives.
When creating her album, she initially wrote many angry and dark songs while processing her emotions. Eventually, she recognized her purpose was to "turn this pain into champagne and help other people through it." This realization guided her artistic choices, balancing raw emotional expression with uplifting content that could inspire listeners facing similar challenges.
Her approach to music aligns with her broader life philosophy: using personal hardship as a catalyst for creation and connection rather than allowing it to be purely destructive.
4. Weight release versus weight loss
Lizzo thoughtfully reframes her physical transformation as "weight release" rather than "weight loss." This deliberate language choice reflects a more positive and holistic approach to body changes. "The weight that is no longer on me is not just fat or physical. I released so much to get to this point," she explains.
She shares how her partner initially questioned her when she said she "lost" weight by asking, "Where did it go?" This shifted her perspective, making her realize she didn't want to "lose" anything but rather "win" and "gain" in her journey. She views her physical changes as part of gaining a sustainable lifestyle, new knowledge, and a stronger sense of self.
Being mindful of her influence, especially on young people, drives her careful word choices. She recognizes how media portrayal of weight changes affected her own "brain chemistry" growing up, and she wants to promote healthier attitudes for her audience.
5. Isolation transforming into solitude and growth
What began as defensive isolation during Lizzo's darkest period eventually evolved into productive solitude. She describes pushing people away initially as a protective mechanism when she was hurt and afraid. "I set up these boundaries and I disappeared into myself," she recalls of this painful time.
This isolation, however, transformed into something valuable. "There's something about isolation that turns into solitude, that turns into introspection, that turns into I am sitting alone with myself and I can finally see her," Lizzo reflects. Being constantly surrounded by people and validation had prevented her from truly seeing herself clearly.
During this period of solitude, she confronted aspects of herself she hadn't previously acknowledged. She began developing healthier habits like consistent meditation, exercise, and mindful consumption. This difficult process of self-examination ultimately led to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
6. The importance of self-love in treating others kindly
Lizzo strongly believes that how we treat ourselves directly affects how we treat others. "We are as kind to others as we are to ourselves," she states, noting that people who say mean things to others are often struggling with their own self-image.
She observes that those who are genuinely kind to themselves naturally extend that kindness to others. "Self-love can save the world," she asserts, explaining that when you're harsh with yourself, you can't control how you treat or perceive others. This internal negativity inevitably spills outward.
The conversation highlights how negative self-talk—even seemingly minor comments like "I'm so stupid" or "I look bad"—gradually shapes our treatment of others. By cultivating gentler internal dialogue, Lizzo believes we can create a more compassionate world.
7. Learning to let go of toxic relationships
One of Lizzo's most significant personal developments has been learning to release relationships that no longer serve her well. She describes herself as someone who would previously "hold on to things that weigh you down," including toxic systems, structures, and people.
Her Taurus nature made her extremely loyal—"till the wheels fall off"—even when relationships were harmful. She recalls ignoring multiple warnings, making excuses like "that person was just mean" or "that was just a misunderstanding" instead of recognizing deeper issues.
When she finally stopped "chasing the people who continually hurt" her, many relationships naturally dissolved. She realized she had been keeping these connections alive through her own effort. This letting go process was mutual—she acknowledges that some people likely needed to release her too, for their own growth and freedom.
8. Separation between friendship and business
Lizzo shares a valuable lesson about the complications that arise when mixing friendship with professional relationships. Earlier in her career, she enthusiastically hired friends, thinking, "Yeah, put some money in my friends' pockets...let's see the world."
She now recognizes how this arrangement disrupts both the friendship and the professional dynamic. "The power dynamic fs up the relationship. Fs up the social structure of the relationship," she explains bluntly. Being both boss and friend creates confusion and often leads to problems.
Her new approach is clearer and more intentional: "I want my friends to be my friends and I want my employees to be my employees." This boundary serves both relationships better, creating what she calls "simple solutions" rather than ongoing "confusion."
9. Understanding vibration and frequency
Lizzo describes her perspective on vibration as both scientific and spiritual. She explains that vibration isn't just an abstract concept but a physical reality—our heartbeats create vibrations throughout our bodies, especially since we're "made mostly of water."
She believes we can control whether we "vibrate high" or "vibrate low," calling this understanding "a cheat code to life." This awareness guides her practices, including sound healing and the use of sound bowls, which she finds transformative for her mental state.
This philosophy extends to her approach to love, which she describes as a "flow state" without drama—like "calm water" or "peaceful water." She contrasts this with "material" love, which introduces conditions and complications. By returning to a vibrational understanding of love, she finds greater peace and acceptance.
10. Reframing unconditional love
Lizzo's understanding of love evolved through her spiritual journey. After intensely studying unconditional love through books, crystals, candles, and prayer, she reached a profound realization: "As a human being, I'm incapable of unconditional love."
She came to believe that on a spiritual level, we are unconditional love, but in our physical embodiment, conditions inevitably arise. This insight helped her develop a more realistic and compassionate approach to relationships. She now practices saying, "I love and accept you for who you are," as a reminder of her deeper connection to others.
When human conflicts arise, she tries to return to this spiritual perspective. She distinguishes between our essential nature as unconditional love and our human tendency toward judgment, noting that when we forget this perspective, relationships become "painful and petty and weird." This reframing helps her navigate relationships with greater compassion and less drama.