Want to Learn How to Use Your Intrusive Thoughts and Anxiety as Your SUPERPOWER? DO THIS!
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Jay Shetty's conversation with comedian Bert Kreischer about transforming intrusive thoughts and anxiety into personal strength.Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Jay Shetty's insightful conversation with comedian Bert Kreischer about transforming intrusive thoughts and anxiety into personal strength.
1. Embracing vulnerability transforms relationships
Bert shares a profound story about a marijuana-induced conversation with his father where his dad finally opened up emotionally. When Bert asked why his father didn't like him, his dad revealed he actually loved him but felt uncomfortable around him and feared losing him. This vulnerable exchange marked a turning point in their relationship.
This conversation led to tangible changes, with his father arranging for Bert to see a cardiologist, addressing his health concerns directly. Bert notes that their relationship has been "a lot smoother" since that heart-to-heart moment, showing how one authentic conversation can heal years of misunderstanding. The story illustrates how vulnerability, even when chemical-induced, can break down walls that logic and routine interaction cannot.
2. Fathers' approval shapes adult motivation
Throughout the interview, Bert repeatedly mentions his lifelong quest for his father's approval. From changing his hairstyle as a teenager to his career choices, this desire for paternal validation has been a driving force. When asked if he was searching for his father's approval, Bert emphatically responds, "That's all I've been doing. My whole life."
The impact of receiving this approval is equally powerful. Bert describes how his father's pride in him following his deal with Will Smith was "the first time my dad didn't have an answer" - marking a shift in their dynamic. This constant seeking of approval influenced his comedy career, with Bert noting he's "into comedy" because he's "searching for approval" and wants "people to like me." This pattern reveals how parental validation can shape adult motivation and professional direction.
3. Showing up consistently creates opportunity
Bert's father instilled a powerful work ethic through his mantra "if you don't get on stage, if you don't show up to work, all the stuff that could possibly make your life great just disappears." This philosophy has guided Bert's approach to his career, especially during challenging times like the pandemic when many comedians stopped performing.
Instead of accepting limitations, Bert innovated by creating outdoor comedy festivals at drive-in theaters to continue performing while maintaining social distancing. This persistence exemplifies his father's lesson about showing up no matter what. Bert extends this mentality to all aspects of his professional life, emphasizing that consistently showing up - for auditions, meetings, and opportunities - creates the conditions for success even when immediate results aren't guaranteed.
4. The power of storytelling builds connection
Bert learned the art of storytelling in his all-boys Catholic high school, where social currency was measured by the ability to "hold a table" with compelling stories. This skill became foundational to his comedy career. He practiced crafting narratives, rehearsing them mentally before delivery, and adapting on the fly based on his audience's interests.
This storytelling ability translated directly to his stand-up success. His "Machine" story went viral and transformed his career trajectory, demonstrating how a well-told narrative can create lasting impact. Bert describes this as his "nail salon bit" - the signature piece audiences request repeatedly, showing how powerful storytelling not only entertains but builds lasting connections with an audience.
5. Embracing authenticity over character-building
Bert describes entering comedy with a commitment to "100% transparency" rather than creating and maintaining a character persona. He explains that watching other comics develop characters seemed limiting and unsustainable. His approach has been to simply "be Bert," sharing his actual thoughts and experiences without filtration.
This authenticity extends to his willingness to discuss personal challenges like anxiety and OCD publicly. While this openness might have initially seemed like "stupidity" to him, it has become a defining aspect of his appeal. His commitment to authenticity has allowed him to connect more deeply with audiences who appreciate his genuine self-disclosure rather than a crafted image, demonstrating the power of authentic self-expression in creative work.
6. Anxiety management requires practical coping strategies
Bert openly discusses his struggles with anxiety, sharing practical coping mechanisms he's developed. His mantra "be like a shark" emphasizes the importance of movement when anxiety strikes - getting out of bed, into the sauna, or to the gym rather than ruminating. He also advocates for incremental improvement with his philosophy: "Let's do today just a little better than we did yesterday."
His experiences with anxiety have also enabled him to help his daughters who experience similar issues, particularly sleep anxiety. Rather than dismissing their concerns or suggesting simplistic solutions like "counting sheep," he understood their experience and helped them develop effective coping strategies. Bert acknowledges that some coping mechanisms, like alcohol use, may not be healthy long-term, showing his thoughtful awareness of both the benefits and limitations of different anxiety management approaches.
7. Maintaining gratitude preserves value in success
Despite his significant success, Bert approaches each achievement with the mindset that it might be his last opportunity. Whether it's making a movie, performing at a theater, or doing an arena tour, he consciously savors each experience. This perspective has protected him from taking his accomplishments for granted, maintaining their subjective value even as they become objectively more impressive.
Bert articulates this philosophy explicitly when discussing his podcast experience with Jay: "As soon as greatness becomes familiar and excellence becomes familiar...you lose its value and then when you lose it, you don't, you never got to experience it." This insight reflects a profound understanding that gratitude and presence, not just achievement itself, create fulfillment. His producer's advice to enjoy making "The Machine" movie because he "probably only gets to make one movie" reinforced this approach to his work.
8. Humor can coexist with emotional depth
Bert demonstrates throughout the interview an ability to navigate between humor and emotional vulnerability - making Jay laugh uproariously while also sharing deeply personal stories about his relationship with his father. This capacity to blend comedy with emotional substance translates to his latest special, where he moved audiences to tears while still making them laugh.
Initially hesitant about including such emotional content, Bert was convinced by seeing audience reactions - "grown men are sobbing crying... people are holding each other and laughing and crying at the same time." This breakthrough showed him how powerful the combination of humor and emotional depth could be. The overwhelming positive response to this special confirmed that audiences connect deeply with content that engages both their humor and empathy, challenging the notion that comedy must remain separate from emotional authenticity.
9. Children provide honest feedback and growth opportunities
Bert's relationship with his daughters offers him uniquely honest feedback, often challenging him to grow in unexpected ways. He recounts how they labeled him a "misogynist" after watching his stand-up, prompting him to reflect on how he portrays his wife in his comedy. They've even requested he "write a joke for women" to balance his material.
This feedback extends to how he parents as well. When his disciplinary approach of raising his voice proved ineffective, his daughter bluntly pointed out: "Just so you know, when you get to here, we know there's nowhere else you're going...This is as bad as it gets." This insight forced him to develop more effective parenting strategies. Rather than continuing with an ineffective approach, he adapted by assigning thoughtful exercises like having his daughter write about why her actions upset him, yielding a more meaningful connection and response from her.
10. Balancing high standards with self-compassion creates sustainability
Throughout the conversation, Bert reveals the tension between his demanding inner dialogue that drives his success and the need for self-compassion. He acknowledges that his "punitive" inner voice pushes him to continually improve but also admits that "if people heard my inner dialogue sometimes...they'd be bummed out for me" because of its harshness.
This insight connects to a broader principle about sustainable achievement. Jay references Roger Federer's approach to tennis - acknowledging losses but quickly moving forward to the next point - as a model for balancing high standards with necessary grace. The conversation reveals that sustainable success requires both pushing oneself toward excellence and forgiving inevitable setbacks, creating a productive tension that drives improvement without self-destruction.