Communication Expert: This Destroys Your Frequency & Stops You From Connecting With Others!
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Erwin McManus's conversation on the power of communication, frequency, and human connection that will transform how you speak to others and yourself.
1. Words are extensions of our essence
Words aren't just sounds that leave us after we speak them; they're extensions of our very being. When we speak, we create waves that affect the universe inside other people. McManus explains that humans are made of particles and waves, and our words never truly leave us.
These sound waves carry our essence into others through a process he compares to "soul sharing." This concept relates to quantum entanglement, where particles that interact remain connected regardless of distance. This explains why someone from your childhood can still impact you today - their particles merged with yours, creating a lasting connection.
2. Frequency matters more than words alone
The actual sound frequency of our communication often carries more meaning than the literal words we use. McManus demonstrates this by speaking in Spanish, pointing out that even when we don't understand the language, we can still detect the emotional frequency behind the sounds.
Babies understand frequencies before they understand language. When you tell a baby "I love you," they absorb the frequency of your words first, then later attribute meaning to those sounds. Similarly, dogs respond to the frequency of your voice rather than the actual words - you can say negative things in a loving tone, and they'll still respond positively.
3. Words have the power to transform our inner worlds
While many people focus on using words to manifest external things like jobs or success, the real power of words lies in their ability to transform our inner worlds. When someone speaks into your life, they reshape the universe inside you.
This internal transformation is what McManus calls "alchemy" - the magical ability to create spaces for hope, joy, meaning, and intention within another person. He notes that many things people search for externally can only be found internally, and our words have tremendous power to help create these internal transformations in others.
4. Every frequency has a shadow side
Each communication frequency has a shadow version that emerges when we're in pain or struggling. For example, the motivator becomes the performer, the commander becomes the dictator, and the healer becomes the cipher. These shadow frequencies emerge when we're experiencing negative emotions like bitterness, anger, or despair.
The only way to move from shadow to light is by making different emotional choices - choosing forgiveness over bitterness, love over hate, and hope over despair. It's the material of our soul that changes our frequency and determines whether we communicate from our shadow or our light.
5. We attract relationships that match our self-worth
Our relationship patterns directly reflect our sense of self-worth. If we have low self-worth, we'll consistently attract partners who validate that low self-worth, creating toxic relationships that reinforce our negative self-perception. These relationships aren't designed to elevate us but to confirm our beliefs about ourselves.
When living in our shadows, we naturally seek others living in their shadows because their light would expose our darkness. This explains why toxic relationships often end with the partner pointing out all your flaws - they're usually voicing the very things you already believed about yourself. Breaking this cycle requires healing your inner relationship with yourself first.
6. Empathy and authenticity elevate our frequency
To raise your communication frequency to its highest level, focus on developing two key qualities: empathy and authenticity. Empathy involves stepping into someone else's soul and experiencing the world through their perspective, emotions, and experiences. It's about truly seeing the other person.
Authenticity complements empathy by allowing others to see you for who you really are. This means revealing your true emotional texture and life context rather than hiding behind facades. When you grow in both empathy and authenticity simultaneously, your frequency naturally elevates to its highest potential.
7. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself
The foundation of healthy communication with others begins with how you speak to yourself. If you're not kind to yourself, you won't be kind to others. If you don't express empathy toward yourself, you won't express it toward others. Our external communication patterns mirror our internal dialogue.
People who are angry toward others are typically people who hate themselves. The remedy often involves self-forgiveness - either forgiving yourself for past mistakes or releasing yourself from blame for things that weren't your fault. Meaningful connection with others is impossible without first establishing a healthy connection with yourself.
8. The struggle between obligation and intention
A major communication challenge involves distinguishing between living a life of obligation versus living with clear intention. Many people, including McManus, struggle with trying to please others and earn their approval rather than following their authentic path.
Finding someone who loves you for who you're becoming, not just who you currently are, is crucial. These people can see your motives, intentions, and desires, so when you fall short, they don't become disappointed because they see you as progressing rather than perfect. This creates space for authentic growth and communication without the burden of unrealistic expectations.
9. Fear is misinterpreted future perception
Humans are unique among species in our ability to perceive the future, which creates a fundamental tension. We can imagine the future either positively (faith) or negatively (fear). When we perceive the future through fear, we become paralyzed and unable to move forward.
McManus suggests reframing fear as your brain telling you that the future holds possibilities too big for your current self. Instead of allowing fear to paralyze you, use it as information indicating the direction you should courageously pursue. We "grow to size" when stepping into a bigger future, expanding to meet its demands rather than shrinking from them.
10. The future comes from within you
The future isn't a static reality that you step into; it's something you actively create. Just as silkworms create silk and bees create honey, humans create futures with every choice and action. The question isn't whether you can create the future, but what kind of future you will create.
When informed by fear, you build protective cocoons that trap you in the past. When informed by faith and possibility, you participate in creating something new. McManus references the biblical contrast between Solomon's "nothing new under the sun" (the perspective of fear) and Isaiah's "behold, I'm doing a new thing" (the perspective of possibility). This choice fundamentally shapes our communication style and life trajectory.