Manifestation Coach “There are 4 Steps!” The SECRET to Manifesting Anything in 2025! Gabby Bernstein

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Gabby Bernstein's conversation with Lewis Howes about manifestation, healing trauma, and creating the life you truly desire in 2025 and beyond.

1. We manifest what we believe

Our ability to manifest our desires is directly connected to our core beliefs. When we're stuck in traumatized stories or neural loops of fight-flight-freeze, we create blocks that prevent manifestation. Even when we try to manifest through spiritual practices or visualization, our core wounds can interfere with the process.

These wounds often originate in early childhood experiences that were too extreme for our young minds to process. Without proper support to handle these experiences, we developed protection mechanisms that now limit our manifestation abilities. The secret to truly manifesting what we desire is healing these blocking beliefs.

2. Internal family systems approach to healing

The Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy model views our psyche as containing an inner family of parts. We have exiled parts (traumatized inner children), manager parts (daily protectors like perfectionism, control, anxiety), and firefighter parts (extreme protectors like addictions). These parts develop as protection mechanisms when we experience trauma or extreme situations.

When something traumatic happens, we exile those feelings because they're too painful. Then we create manager parts to keep those exiled feelings at bay. When managers fail, firefighter parts emerge with extreme behaviors to numb the pain. This system of parts influences how we move through the world and what we can manifest.

3. The power of self energy

At our core, we all possess what IFS calls "Self" energy (with a capital S). This is our adult, undamaged, resourced part—our true essence. Self energy has eight "C" qualities: compassion, calm, connection, creativity, courage, clarity, commitment, and confidence. This energy exists within everyone, though it's often blocked.

Self energy is like the sun behind clouds—always present but sometimes obscured. When we access this energy, we can bring healing to our wounded parts. The more we clear these blocks, the more our life flows naturally and manifestation becomes effortless. We experience this energy during meditation, after exercise, or in creative flow states.

4. The four-step check-in process

Gabby Bernstein presents a four-step process to heal limiting beliefs and manifest effectively. First, choose to check in with the parts of you that feel burdened. Second, become curious about these parts, allowing them to express their feelings, thoughts, and needs. Third, extend compassion by asking what these parts need from you.

Finally, check for Self qualities—notice if you feel any calm, compassion, connection, creativity, courage, clarity, commitment, or confidence emerging. Even experiencing just one of these qualities indicates successful engagement with the process. This practice helps rewire neural patterns and transforms your relationship with wounded parts.

5. Speaking for parts versus as parts

A crucial distinction in healing inner wounds is learning to speak for your parts rather than as your parts. When triggered, many people become completely identified with their wounded parts, reacting from that place of pain or fear. This blending with parts prevents accessing Self energy and perpetuates unhealthy patterns.

The healing alternative is maintaining enough awareness to recognize when a part is activated, then speaking on behalf of that part from a place of Self. For example, instead of lashing out in frustration (as the part), one might say, "I notice a part of me feels really frustrated right now" (for the part). This creates space for healing rather than reinforcing the wound.

6. No bad parts

All parts of ourselves—even the most destructive or painful ones—originally formed to protect us. Understanding this transforms our relationship with the aspects of ourselves we've been fighting against. The controller, perfectionist, people-pleaser, or addict parts all developed as strategies to keep us safe from perceived threats.

When we view these parts through this compassionate lens, we stop fighting them and start building relationships with them. This shift allows those parts to relax their extreme positions. Rather than eliminating these parts, we integrate them in healthier ways, allowing their positive qualities to serve us without the harmful extremes.

7. Unburdening changes our relationship with parts

Through consistent self-help work and establishing relationship with our wounded parts, we can "unburden" them. This doesn't mean eliminating these aspects of ourselves, but transforming their expression. The controller part that once created chaos might evolve into healthy organization without the anxiety.

This unburdening affects how we respond to triggers in daily life. Situations that previously would have activated extreme reactions become manageable. We develop a quicker "comeback rate"—the ability to return to Self energy after being triggered. This transformed relationship with our parts creates more flow in our lives.

8. Self-led leadership

Leaders who operate from Self energy rather than wounded parts have tremendous positive impact. When we lead from Self, we bring qualities like compassion, creativity, and clarity to our interactions. This creates psychological safety for others and allows for more productive problem-solving and collaboration.

Self-led leadership applies not just to professional settings but to parenting, teaching, coaching, and other influential relationships. When children experience adults who consistently operate from Self energy, their own parts feel safer. This can prevent them from developing the same burdens we carry, creating generational healing.

9. The manifestation-trauma connection

True manifestation flows naturally when we operate from Self energy rather than wounded parts. When we heal our core wounds, we remove the obstacles to attracting what we desire. The struggle many experience with manifestation comes from trying to force outcomes while still operating from wounded parts.

Manifestation from Self energy feels effortless and synchronistic. Rather than controlling and pushing, we follow inspiration and intuition. We take aligned action from a place of calm and clarity. The universe responds differently to this energy than to the energy of desperate striving from wounded parts.

10. Healing as a spiritual journey

From a spiritual perspective, our wounds can be seen as gateways to transformation. The challenges and traumas we experience create opportunities to remember our true nature. As Rumi said, "The wound is the place where the light enters you."

This perspective reframes difficult experiences as part of a purposeful journey. Rather than victims of circumstance, we become spiritual beings on a path of remembering who we truly are. The process of healing our wounded parts becomes not just psychological work but spiritual awakening. As we integrate our fragmented selves, we become more whole and connected to our divine essence.