Psychologist: “It Turns Out That Depression is Actually…” The TRUTH We ALL Have to Face!
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Dr. Lisa Miller's conversation with Lewis Howes that reveal profound truths about depression, spirituality, and the awakened brain.
1. Depression as spiritual hunger
Depression is often not just a medical illness but a hunger for spiritual awakening. According to Dr. Lisa Miller, approximately two-thirds of depression cases are not medical illnesses but rather developmental depressions. These represent the mind, body, and soul calling for an expanded awareness when life feels too small or constricted.
This spiritual hunger propels us on a quest for deeper meaning and connection. The pain we experience during depression is not against us but for us—it serves as a portal of entry into spiritual awakening. Dr. Miller suggests that instead of viewing depression solely as a condition to be medicated away, we should recognize it as a calling to wake up spiritually.
2. The awakened brain versus the depressed brain
Scientific research has identified distinct neural correlates for spiritual awareness, just as there are for depression. The "awakened brain" has three key components: a bonding network that allows us to feel loved and held, an attentional system that enables us to receive guidance, and the ability to experience both separateness and oneness simultaneously.
These neural circuits work together to create the experience that we are loved and held, we are guided, and we are never alone. MRI studies show distinct patterns of brain activity when people experience spiritual connection. Everyone has the capacity for this awakened awareness built into their neurobiology, but it requires practice and cultivation to activate these circuits fully.
3. The universal nature of spirituality
Spirituality is innate to all humans regardless of religious affiliation or background. According to Dr. Miller, we all have one "awakened brain" with the same neural circuitry for transcendent relationships. Whether someone identifies as Hindu, Catholic, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or spiritual but not religious, the same brain circuits activate when they perceive a deep sacred transcendent relationship.
This universality challenges the outdated 20th-century view that spirituality is merely a crutch or bandaid. The research suggests that spirituality is a fundamental aspect of human nature—part of our biological wiring. It's not something external or optional but an essential component of who we are as humans.
4. Love as a choice and practice
The Dalai Lama's message, as shared by Dr. Miller, simplifies spirituality to one essential element: "You must love. Do it." This framing presents love not just as a feeling but as a practice and a choice. Even when betrayed or hurt, choosing to love more deeply is the path to experiencing ultimate connection with the source of life.
When Lewis Howes discusses his relationship with Martha, he highlights how he made a conscious decision to make their relationship spiritual rather than primarily physical. This choice allowed for greater clarity and depth in their connection. The spiritual approach to love involves daily commitment and practice rather than just responding to emotions.
5. Spiritual development across the lifespan
Spiritual development occurs naturally across our lifespan, with three major "bridges" or transitions: in young adulthood (around age 19-20), at midlife, and again as elders. These transitions often begin with existential questions and sometimes depression as part of the developmental process.
Just as our physical appearance changes throughout life, our spirituality also evolves and deepens. These spiritual transitions are not pathological but necessary for growth. During these periods, we typically question meaning, purpose, and our place in the universe. The depression that sometimes accompanies these transitions can be viewed as an invitation to spiritual growth rather than a problem to be solved.
6. Synchronicities as spiritual guidance
Synchronicities—meaningful coincidences that seem too improbable to be chance—serve as guideposts on our spiritual journey. Dr. Miller describes how being attentive to synchronicities develops our capacity to perceive them more frequently, moving from catching perhaps one in three to eventually noticing 90% of them.
The process involves acknowledging synchronicities as real, reflecting on their potential meaning, and then taking action based on that reflection. Lewis shares his experience with Martha, noting multiple synchronicities that guided their relationship, including their shared journey of inner child healing. These seemingly random events serve as a form of dialogue with the universe or higher power.
7. The role of parents in spiritual development
Parents play a crucial role in nurturing their children's natural spiritual awareness. Research shows that children with a positive, active relationship to spirituality are 40% less likely to use substances, 60% less likely to be depressed as teenagers, and 80% less likely to engage in dangerous sexual behaviors.
Dr. Miller emphasizes that parents don't need to be "spiritual enough" themselves, as children are naturally spiritual. The key is for parents to listen and be in awe of their children's natural spiritual insights rather than imposing adult materialism. When children ask spiritual questions, parents should encourage them to listen to their own hearts rather than providing ready-made answers.
8. The limitations of pure materialism and ego
A recurring theme in the conversation is how our ego and materialistic worldview can trap us in depression and limitation. Dr. Miller describes her five-year struggle with infertility as being trapped in the "prison house of my ego," focusing obsessively on getting what she wanted rather than being open to other possibilities.
This restrictive mindset changed only when she shifted from asking "Why am I not getting what I want?" to "What is life showing me now?" This openness led to finding her son through adoption, followed by the surprising natural conception of her daughter the very night they received their son's adoption video. The lesson is that when we release our tight grip on specific outcomes, we create space for unexpected blessings.
9. Spiritual healing from trauma and addiction
Substance use and addiction often represent misguided attempts to achieve transcendence. Dr. Miller explains that while drugs and alcohol will never truly resolve depression, the desire behind substance use is often a hunger for spiritual awakening and connection.
For those who have experienced religious trauma or abuse from spiritual authority figures, healing is possible through either meeting authentic spiritual mentors who "walk the walk" or developing a direct connection to spiritual reality. Dr. Miller shares how Dr. Gary Weaver helped young men who had been abused by religious figures reconnect with spirituality through nature-based practices that bypassed religious language entirely.
10. The symbolic universe and spiritual perception
Our world is fundamentally symbolic, with messages and guidance available to those who are receptive. Dr. Miller describes spirituality not as a belief system but as a capacity to perceive. This perception extends beyond the waking world into dreams, which share the same symbolic language as synchronicities.
The practices she teaches, like "Hosting Council" and "The Road of Life," help people access this symbolic understanding. These exercises invite participants to connect with inner wisdom, spiritual guides, and their higher power. Through these practices, people can experience the three core aspects of spiritual awareness: feeling loved and held, receiving guidance, and experiencing oneness with all of life.