The American Dream is Just a Dream! What Dubai Knows About Wealth That Americans Totally Miss!

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Anas Bukhash's conversation with Lewis Howes about wealth, relationships, and cultural differences between Dubai and America.

1. The American dream vs. reality

The American dream is portrayed as an opportunity for anyone to achieve success, but Anas Bukhash believes this is largely a myth. He observes that while 1% of people in America achieve remarkable success, the remaining 99% struggle just to maintain a basic standard of living.

Most Americans are constantly hustling with multiple jobs just to cover their basic expenses. Families often require both partners and sometimes even children to work, yet they still only manage to live "okay" rather than comfortably. This stark reality contrasts sharply with the marketed image of the American dream.

2. Dubai's entrepreneurial ecosystem

Dubai has created an extraordinarily entrepreneurial ecosystem in a remarkably short time span. What's particularly noteworthy is that the UAE has accomplished all of this development in just 50 years, making it younger than many people's parents.

The city provides fertile ground for entrepreneurs because it's relatively "raw" in terms of business development. When someone starts a business in Dubai, they might be the first of its kind, unlike in countries with centuries of established businesses. This creates abundant opportunities for innovative entrepreneurs to establish themselves without facing the intense competition found in more mature markets.

3. Quality of life priorities in Dubai

Dubai has focused intensely on creating exceptional quality of life factors that attract wealthy individuals from around the world. Safety is paramount, with Bukhash noting that people can leave their car keys in their vehicles and doors unlocked—a level of security that visitors from Europe find surprising.

Beyond safety, Dubai offers excellent logistics, ease of doing business, world-class schooling, and an incredible networking environment. The interconnected nature of Dubai's society means that there are typically only "two degrees of separation" between any two people, making relationship-building and business connections significantly easier to establish.

4. The power of visionary leadership

The UAE's dramatic transformation from desert to global destination stems directly from visionary leadership. Sheikh Zayed, the founder of the UAE, demonstrated exceptional foresight by paying families to send their children to school, recognizing that educated youth would become the nation's future leaders and innovators.

Dubai's leadership also showed remarkable vision by constructing a major port when many questioned its necessity. This port has since become one of the region's most important. Such bold decisions, made despite skepticism, have proven instrumental in Dubai's development into a global hub.

These visionaries invested in their people rather than focusing solely on oil wealth, creating sustainable growth. While many countries have oil resources, few have leveraged them as effectively as the UAE to build diverse, sustainable economies.

5. Different mindsets about wealth generation

The mindset around generating wealth differs significantly between Dubai and America. In America, Bukhash perceives a more individualistic, competitive approach where everyone is out for themselves. The atmosphere feels less cooperative and more focused on individual success at others' expense.

In contrast, Dubai fosters a highly entrepreneurial mindset where people regularly see others succeeding. This creates a contagious atmosphere of possibility. There's a more direct correlation between effort and reward in Dubai, whereas in America, even significant effort doesn't always yield proportionate returns.

Dubai residents don't approach money from a place of fear but rather view it as an accessible tool. The entrepreneurial energy is palpable throughout the city, with everyone constantly developing new business ideas and ventures.

6. Family values and societal cohesion

Strong family units form the foundation of Dubai's society and receive significant government support. The UAE government provides citizens with free land, interest-free loans for building homes, free education, and even loans for weddings—all designed to establish strong family foundations.

These policies reflect the belief that solid family units create a stronger society overall. Bukhash contrasts this with the more "disintegrated" family structures he observed in America and Europe, where family connections might be limited to annual holiday gatherings rather than regular weekly contact.

The emphasis on family values extends to business relationships as well. Bukhash works with his brother as a business partner, creating a foundation of deep trust. However, he also acknowledges that successful entrepreneurship sometimes requires difficult decisions, including potentially firing family members if they aren't performing.

7. Financial literacy gaps across cultures

Financial literacy isn't naturally taught in many Arab and Asian cultures, according to Bukhash. Money discussions are often considered taboo at the family dinner table, limiting opportunities to learn about investments and wealth management from an early age.

Without these conversations, many people default to ineffective strategies like keeping money in low-interest savings accounts. Bukhash has only recently begun educating himself about investments, recognizing the importance of making money work rather than letting it sit idle.

He now advocates for consistent investment habits, even with small amounts. Putting aside regular sums for investment in real estate, stocks, or cryptocurrencies can yield significant growth over time. This approach contrasts with the fear-based saving mentality that keeps money stagnant in bank accounts.

8. The evolution of vulnerability in relationships

Bukhash shares his personal journey with vulnerability, particularly in romantic relationships. Following his divorce, he spent eight years maintaining surface-level relationships where he remained in control, avoiding deep emotional connection and potential pain.

Only in the past two years has he begun opening himself to greater vulnerability. Through therapy, he's exploring why he approaches relationships the way he does, recognizing patterns connected to his childhood experiences and family dynamics.

He's discovered parallels between how he approaches business and relationships, particularly regarding control. This self-awareness has helped him understand that while surface-level relationships offer certain comforts, they lack the rich fulfillment of genuine intimacy and emotional connection.

9. The impact of childhood on relationship patterns

Therapy has helped Bukhash understand how childhood experiences shape adult relationship patterns. He explains that people often replicate the love language of their same-gender parent and seek the love language of their opposite-gender parent in romantic partners.

This unconscious programming creates an "inner image" of what we're attracted to that may differ significantly from what we consciously claim to want. When examining past relationships, many people discover they're repeatedly drawn to partners with similar traits—often ones that feel familiar rather than healthy.

Understanding these patterns requires examining one's upbringing, parental relationships, and previous romantic experiences. This self-awareness allows people to recognize what they're truly attracted to and why, potentially breaking cycles of unsuccessful relationships.

10. The measure of true relationship quality

Bukhash offers a simple yet profound measure for relationship quality: how often you lose your peace of mind. If conflicts disturb your peace weekly, the relationship may be too emotionally expensive. Occasional disagreements are normal, but frequent disturbances indicate fundamental issues.

In healthy relationships, both partners feel safe enough to express childlike vulnerability. Regardless of how strong, independent, or professional they are outside the home, they can reveal their authentic, playful, sometimes silly selves without fear of judgment.

Good relationships celebrate rather than shame their partners. This genuine safety allows people to be vulnerable, creating deeper intimacy and connection. When someone finds a relationship where their nervous system remains at ease, they've found something truly valuable—a partnership where they can be fully themselves.