Get Back on Track：5 Evening Habits to Wake Up Focused, Recharged, and in Control
Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Mel Robbins' podcast that will help you reclaim your evenings and transform your mornings.
1. Decision fatigue impacts your evening choices
Decision fatigue occurs after making countless decisions throughout your day, leaving you mentally drained by evening. According to research cited by Mel, the average person makes over 35,000 decisions daily, which gradually depletes your mental energy. This explains why you often feel completely exhausted by evening, with your mental "gas tank" running on empty.
This fatigue manifests through four main symptoms: procrastination (putting things off), impulsivity (making quick, poorly thought-out choices), avoidance (steering clear of anything requiring decisions), and indecision (inability to choose). These symptoms explain why you might waste hours scrolling through TV options without selecting anything or mindlessly browse social media instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour.
2. Revenge bedtime procrastination steals your rest
Revenge bedtime procrastination occurs when you knowingly delay sleep to regain personal time, despite knowing better. After spending your day meeting everyone else's needs and demands, you feel entitled to some "me time" in the evening. Unfortunately, this often manifests as mindless scrolling, channel surfing, or other passive activities that don't truly refresh you.
This behavior creates a harmful cycle where you sacrifice much-needed sleep for low-quality leisure time. The "revenge" aspect comes from trying to reclaim personal time after a day of obligations, but it ultimately backfires by making you more tired the next day. Breaking this cycle requires recognizing that genuine self-care includes prioritizing proper rest rather than electronic distractions.
3. Pick your bedtime using the 9-hour rule
Selecting a consistent bedtime forms the foundation of an effective evening routine. Mel recommends using the "rule of 9 hours" – spending 9 hours in bed to get 8 hours of actual sleep. This accounts for the approximately 20 minutes most people need to fall asleep, plus brief awakenings throughout the night.
To implement this rule, start with your required wake-up time and count backward nine hours. For example, if you need to wake up at 6:00 AM, your bedtime should be 9:00 PM. Setting this time in advance eliminates the decision when you're already experiencing decision fatigue. You can even set a bedtime alarm on your phone as a reminder that it's time to begin winding down.
4. Clean up today's mess for tomorrow's fresh start
Taking five minutes to tidy up before bed creates a positive morning environment. This doesn't mean deep cleaning – just handling basic tasks like loading the dishwasher, clearing countertops, hanging up clothes, or folding away your suitcase. These simple actions prevent waking up to yesterday's unfinished business.
When you wake up to a tidy space, you avoid starting your day with stress and decisions about leftover tasks. Research shows that living in a messy environment raises stress levels because you constantly see things that need attention. By cleaning up at night when you're already tired, you'll be less likely to transform simple tidying into perfectionist organizing projects.
Cleaning up in the evening also means you won't face unpleasant surprises in the morning. Nobody wants to start their day plunging their hands into a cold, greasy pot that's been "soaking" overnight. These small evening actions are gifts you give to your future self.
5. Make tomorrow easier with simple preparations
Setting yourself up for success involves preparing a few things before bed that will make your morning smoother. Lay out your workout clothes on the floor, eliminating a morning decision. Fill a water bottle and place it by the coffee maker to ensure you hydrate before caffeine. Pack your lunch, prep breakfast items, organize work materials, or set out important documents that you'll need.
These small actions remove friction points from your morning routine. When your workout clothes are already laid out, you've eliminated both the decision and the effort required to find them. This makes it easier to follow through with positive habits even when you don't feel motivated.
These preparations are particularly effective because you're doing them on autopilot while already in motion. As you're turning off lights and locking doors, you naturally incorporate these small helpful actions without overthinking them. Like putting keys in the same place every night, these habits create a system that works even when you're tired.
6. Take five minutes for yourself before bed
After giving your attention to everyone and everything else all day, take at least five minutes to turn back toward yourself. This isn't about scrolling on your phone or watching TV – it's about genuinely nurturing yourself through activities like taking a bath, making tea, journaling, reading, or doing gentle stretches. These activities signal to your body that it's time to wind down.
Unlike passive phone use, these activities genuinely refresh you by activating your parasympathetic nervous system. They signal to your body that it's safe to rest rather than remaining in a heightened state of alertness. Even five minutes of genuine self-care can begin to shift your evening patterns.
Over time, these five minutes often naturally expand as you discover the benefits of this quiet time. What starts as a quick bath might become a longer ritual that includes tea and reading. This creates a positive cycle where you begin to prioritize genuine rest and rejuvenation over mindless entertainment.
7. Tuck your phone in before you tuck yourself in
Removing your phone from your bedroom dramatically improves sleep quality. The blue light from phones suppresses melatonin production, making it harder to fall asleep. Additionally, the constant potential for notifications keeps your brain in an alert state, waiting for the next interruption. Even having your phone nearby can negatively impact sleep quality according to research.
Mel suggests charging your phone in another room – bathroom, kitchen, or closet – rather than on your bedside table. If you're concerned about emergencies, you can leave the ringer on while turning off notifications, and let important people know to call rather than text if they truly need you. This boundary creates space for genuine rest without digital intrusions.
This step proves particularly challenging because decision fatigue makes us more impulsive and less disciplined at bedtime. Mel compares it to an addiction – you wouldn't keep temptation nearby if you were trying to overcome a substance use problem. By physically removing the phone, you protect yourself from your own evening impulsivity.
8. Morning clarity versus evening impulsivity
Research shows that mornings are when we make our most accurate and thoughtful decisions. During the morning hours, we tend to be more cautious and meticulous in our thinking. This clarity explains why you might wake up determined to have a better evening routine, only to abandon those plans when night comes.
By afternoon, decision-making abilities plateau, and by evening, decisions become more impulsive and less thoughtful. This natural cycle explains why setting intentions in the morning isn't enough – you need systems that work even when your decision-making is compromised. Evening routines should be simple enough to follow on autopilot.
Understanding this pattern helps remove self-blame. It's not a character flaw that makes evening discipline difficult – it's a natural consequence of cognitive depletion. This knowledge allows you to work with your brain's natural rhythms rather than fighting against them.
9. Your attention is your most precious resource
Throughout the day, your attention is constantly pulled in multiple directions – work, family, friends, media, and endless digital interruptions. From the moment you first check your phone in the morning until you finally disconnect at night, your most valuable resource is being directed outward rather than inward. This constant external focus leaves little room for self-care.
Creating boundaries around your attention, particularly in the evening, allows you to reclaim some of this precious resource for yourself. Contrary to what many believe, scrolling social media or mindlessly watching TV isn't actually "time for yourself" – it's still giving your attention away to external stimuli. True self-time involves turning inward through activities like reflection, journaling, or simply being present.
The more overwhelming life becomes, the more important these boundaries become. As Mel points out, nobody else will create these boundaries for you – in fact, the world is specifically designed to capture and hold your attention. Taking back control of where your attention goes, especially in the crucial wind-down hours, is a fundamental act of self-care.
10. Consistency creates powerful sleep habits
Creating consistent sleep routines signals to your body when it's time to rest, making both falling asleep and staying asleep easier. Mel references research from Harvard Medical School indicating that consistent bedtimes help you fall asleep faster and achieve deeper sleep. This consistency works by aligning with your body's natural circadian rhythms.
When you follow the same wind-down routine night after night, you build powerful associations that trigger your body's relaxation response. Even simple habits like dimming lights, tidying up, or drinking herbal tea become signals that prepare your brain and body for rest. These environmental cues work even when you don't feel particularly tired.
The five-step routine Mel outlines creates this consistency without requiring significant effort. By stacking simple habits – setting a bedtime, tidying up, preparing for tomorrow, taking five minutes for yourself, and putting your phone away – you create a powerful sequence that works even when you're exhausted. The simplicity makes it sustainable, while the consistency makes it effective.