The Science of Well-Being：Powerful Happiness Hacks That 5 Million People Are Using

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Dr. Laurie Santos' research that can boost your happiness by 5-15%, as discussed on the Mel Robbins Podcast.

1. Happiness is both in and with your life

Happiness researchers distinguish between being happy in your life versus happy with your life. Being happy in your life refers to experiencing positive emotions, joy, laughter, and contentment in daily moments. Being happy with your life refers to overall life satisfaction, meaning, and purpose when you step back and evaluate your existence holistically.

These two forms can exist independently. For instance, a new parent might feel tremendous happiness with their life (meaning and purpose) while simultaneously experiencing exhaustion and stress in their daily life (fewer positive emotions). Similarly, someone with wealth and luxuries might experience pleasure in their life but feel emptiness with their life if lacking purpose or meaning.

2. We're not naturally wired for happiness

Our brains evolved primarily for survival, not happiness. This evolutionary heritage created a negativity bias where we're programmed to notice dangers, problems, and negative comparisons. Our ancestors who were constantly vigilant about threats survived to pass on their genes, while those who were blissfully content might have been eaten by predators.

This negativity bias manifests in modern life when we scroll through social media and fixate on negative comments, compare ourselves unfavorably to others, or walk into a room and immediately notice who doesn't welcome us. Our mental hardware is designed to scan for problems, not to appreciate blessings, which makes happiness something we must deliberately cultivate rather than something that occurs naturally.

3. Money only increases happiness up to a point

Research by Nobel Prize winner Danny Kahneman found that increased income correlates with increased happiness only up to about $75,000 annually (in 2009 dollars, equivalent to about $110,000 today). Beyond that threshold, additional money doesn't produce more positive emotions, reduce negative emotions, or decrease stress levels.

This counterintuitive finding exists because higher incomes often bring more demanding work schedules, reducing time for social connections. Additionally, we rapidly adapt to material improvements through hedonic adaptation, quickly taking them for granted. While money matters greatly for those struggling to meet basic needs, the wealthy face diminishing returns where luxury purchases bring temporary pleasure but fail to create lasting happiness.

4. Social connection is fundamental to happiness

Happy people consistently spend more time with others and prioritize relationships with friends and family. Research shows both introverts and extroverts benefit from social connection, though introverts often underestimate how much they'll enjoy social interactions. Experiments found that people instructed to engage with strangers (like talking to someone on a train) reported greater happiness afterward, despite predicting the opposite outcome.

Loneliness rates have nearly doubled in recent years, with around 60% of people reporting significant loneliness across all demographic groups. Small social interactions, like complimenting a barista or texting an old friend, can provide immediate happiness boosts. As Dr. Santos notes, "Nobody waves, but everybody waves back" - taking the initiative to connect often leads to reciprocated warmth.

5. Being other-oriented increases happiness

Counterintuitively, doing things for others makes us happier than focusing solely on ourselves. Research shows that acts of kindness and generosity create a "helper's high" and actually make us feel like we have more time, not less. When we volunteer to help someone, it signals to our brain that we must have sufficient resources (including time) to spare.

This principle works best when the helping is voluntary rather than obligatory. When caretaking feels like a burden or obligation, it doesn't produce the same happiness benefits. The fastest way to reduce feelings of loneliness is often to reach out to someone else who might be lonely, creating a virtuous cycle of connection and support that benefits both parties.

6. Mindfulness and presence boost well-being

Research by Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert found people report mind-wandering (not paying attention to their current activity) nearly 50% of the time. This distraction correlates strongly with reduced happiness, regardless of whether the mind is wandering to pleasant or unpleasant topics. Simply being fully present in the current moment—even during routine activities—increases happiness.

Presence works not only when circumstances are pleasant but also during challenging times. When we're fully engaged in what we're doing, whether working on a project, having a conversation, or washing dishes, we experience greater satisfaction. This stands in sharp contrast to our phone-addicted culture, where constant digital distraction pulls us away from potentially joy-giving moments in our immediate environment.

7. Time affluence matters more than money affluence

Research by Harvard Business School's Ashley Willens shows that "time affluence" (having abundant free time) significantly impacts well-being, while "time famine" (chronic busyness) damages happiness as much as unemployment. Using discretionary income to buy back time—whether through hiring help, ordering takeout, or other time-saving purchases—tends to increase happiness more than buying material goods.

Time famine also reduces our capacity for generosity, environmental consciousness, and connection. Studies show people experiencing time pressure are less likely to help others or engage in sustainable behaviors like recycling. Learning to value and protect time as a precious resource is crucial for well-being, as is recognizing the value of "time confetti"—small pockets of free time that we often waste on phones but could use for quick happiness-boosting activities.

8. Gratitude transforms how we experience life

Gratitude practice helps combat our natural negativity bias by deliberately noticing the good things we might otherwise take for granted. It's a special form of presence that acknowledges things could be different—our health, relationships, or basic comforts aren't guaranteed but are gifts we're fortunate to have.

The ancient Stoics practiced "negative visualization," temporarily imagining losing something valuable to appreciate it more deeply. Modern approaches include keeping gratitude journals or developing simple habits like naming three things you're grateful for while brushing your teeth. These practices don't require much time but can significantly shift perspective from what's lacking to what's present, filling the "leaky tire" of happiness a little more each day.

9. Savoring amplifies positive experiences

Savoring involves deliberately focusing attention on positive experiences to enhance and extend their emotional impact. Rather than rushing through pleasant moments, savoring means slowing down to fully notice sensory details, emotional responses, and unique aspects of an experience—whether it's drinking coffee, feeling sunshine, or accomplishing a task.

This practice doesn't require extraordinary circumstances. Even routine activities like doing dishes can become opportunities for savoring by noticing the warmth of the water, the soap's scent, or the satisfaction of creating cleanliness. Nature often facilitates savoring naturally, which explains why activities like "forest bathing" boost well-being—they invite us to immerse ourselves fully in sensory experiences rather than rushing past them.

10. Self-compassion outperforms self-criticism

Many people believe harsh self-criticism motivates improvement, but research by Kristin Neff shows self-compassion produces better results while supporting well-being. Self-compassion involves three elements: mindfully acknowledging difficult feelings without suppression, recognizing struggles as part of common humanity rather than personal failings, and extending kindness to oneself as one would to a friend.

Self-criticism leads to procrastination, emotional drain, and reduced happiness. When we constantly compare our internal struggles to others' polished external appearances, we create an unfair standard that damages well-being. The research suggests treating ourselves with kindness isn't self-indulgence but rather creates the psychological safety needed for growth, risk-taking, and genuine happiness.