97-Year-Old Holocaust Survivor Shares 9 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late | Edith Eger
Here are 10 life lessons from Holocaust survivor Edith Eger that can transform how we navigate life's challenges and find freedom in even the darkest circumstances.
1. Freedom is letting go of mental prisons
Freedom comes from releasing ourselves from the concentration camps we create in our own minds. Edith explains that forgiveness isn't about pardoning others for what they did to us, but about liberating ourselves from being prisoners of the past. She emphasizes that we don't need to remain hostages to past experiences.
True freedom requires letting go of hatred that consumes us from within. Edith discovered her inner power in Auschwitz—something no Nazi could take away. This realization helped her survive and eventually thrive despite unimaginable trauma.
2. There is no hierarchy in trauma
Edith firmly believes that all suffering is valid, regardless of its apparent severity. She recounts how she treated a woman grieving over a car delivery with the same respect as someone whose child was dying. Pain is subjective and deeply personal.
We should never minimize or trivialize others' suffering by comparing it to seemingly "worse" experiences. Edith cautions against telling someone their problems aren't significant because others have endured more. This compassionate approach creates space for genuine healing without judgment.
3. We create what we think
Our thoughts shape our reality and influence our feelings and behaviors. Edith explains that in Auschwitz, she learned to mentally separate from her physical circumstances. While physically complying with commands, she maintained her independent spirit internally.
This mental discipline allowed her to view her captors as the real prisoners. By changing her perspective, she found pity rather than hatred for them. This principle applies to everyday life—how we frame our experiences determines our responses to them.
4. Being triggered reveals unfinished business
When someone triggers an emotional reaction in us, it rarely has to do with the present situation. Edith explains that triggers point to unresolved emotional issues from our past. These moments offer valuable opportunities for self-discovery and healing.
Instead of blaming others for our emotional reactions, we should look inward. By recognizing triggers as signals of our own unfinished business, we can take responsibility for our healing. This perspective transforms difficult interactions into chances for personal growth.
5. Fathers shape children through their actions
Children learn by observing, not by listening to instructions. Edith emphasizes the crucial role fathers play as role models, noting that children either want to be just like their fathers or completely different. A father's treatment of his children's mother also teaches powerful lessons about relationships.
A true man is a knowledgeable leader rather than a dictator. Edith describes good fathers as teachers, protectors, and providers who earn respect through consistency between their words and actions. This integrity forms the foundation of healthy parent-child relationships.
6. Self-love is essential for healing
Self-love isn't narcissistic but a form of self-care necessary for healing. Edith recommends looking in the mirror each morning and affirming self-love. This practice builds the foundation for healthy relationships with others.
We cannot effectively care for others if we neglect ourselves. Edith's approach to healing begins with accepting and nurturing ourselves, which creates the capacity to extend compassion to others. This self-acceptance allows us to move beyond victimhood.
7. We can choose our response to any situation
Even in the most horrific circumstances, we retain the power to choose our response. In Auschwitz, when normal "fight or flight" reactions would lead to death, Edith discovered a third option: staying present while maintaining her inner freedom. She refused to let her captors control her spirit.
This principle extends to everyday challenges. Rather than reacting automatically to difficulties, we can pause and choose our response. This space between stimulus and response contains our greatest power—the freedom to decide how we engage with life's circumstances.
8. Cooperation trumps competition
In Auschwitz, cooperation meant survival. Edith recalls sharing her bread with others when she was starving. Later, these same people carried her during a death march when she couldn't walk. This mutual support saved her life.
This lesson extends beyond extreme situations. Edith believes our strength comes from working together rather than competing or dominating one another. Her mantra "All we had was each other then, and all we have is each other now" emphasizes our fundamental interconnectedness.
9. Accept transitions rather than fearing crises
Edith reframes difficult life changes as transitions rather than crises. This perspective shift acknowledges challenges while maintaining hope. She advises us to approach difficulties as opportunities for growth and transformation.
Like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, we can emerge from hard times with newfound strength and wisdom. Edith encourages us to ask whether we're revolving (staying stuck) or evolving (growing through experience). This mindset promotes resilience in the face of life's inevitable changes.
10. You don't overcome trauma, you come to terms with it
Edith makes an important distinction between overcoming trauma and coming to terms with it. She doesn't forget her experiences or pretend they didn't affect her—part of her remains in Auschwitz. Instead, she acknowledges her past while refusing to live there.
Coming to terms with trauma means integrating difficult experiences into our life story without letting them define us. Edith calls this her "cherished wound"—acknowledging both the pain and the growth it prompted. This nuanced approach honors our history while creating space for present joy.