A Doctor's Prescription for Joy & Fulfillment | Tiffany Moon - Anesthesiologist & Author

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from Dr. Tiffany Moon's conversation on finding joy, balancing success with fulfillment, and breaking free from limiting patterns that hold us back from living our best lives.

1. Perfectionism blocks joy

Perfectionism can be one of the biggest obstacles to living a joyful life. Dr. Tiffany Moon identifies it as the antithesis of joy because it keeps people focused on how they appear to others and afraid of making mistakes. This mindset paralyzes people from taking opportunities because they fear looking foolish or incompetent.

The solution is surprisingly simple but challenging to implement: just start taking imperfect action. Through this exposure therapy approach, you'll realize that nothing catastrophic happens when you aren't perfect. Most people aren't even noticing the flaws you're obsessing over. Breaking free from perfectionism allows you to progress further in life instead of remaining stuck in analysis paralysis.

2. Joy is found in the journey, not the destination

Dr. Moon describes her early life as a series of checkboxes – early college entrance at 15, graduating from Cornell at 19, finishing medical school by 23, getting married and having children by 30. Despite achieving all these goals, she felt unfulfilled and unhappy. This realization led to an important insight: joy isn't a destination you eventually reach after completing your checklist.

The problem with treating joy as a future destination is that you miss experiencing it along the way. Dr. Moon admits she was "running so fast" through her achievements that she didn't enjoy the journey. This approach left her feeling empty despite her impressive accomplishments. Learning to find contentment and satisfaction in the process rather than just the outcome became a crucial lesson in her pursuit of joy.

3. Breaking free from cultural and family expectations

Dr. Moon describes herself as having been the "perfect Asian daughter" who never talked back, made straight As, and helped with chores without complaint. Her parents explicitly told her they sacrificed their lives in China to give her better opportunities in America, creating immense pressure to succeed and meet their expectations. This burden of obligation shaped her decisions for decades.

The breaking point came at different stages - first at age 15 when academic achievement allowed her to attend an early college entrance program, and later when she introduced her Korean boyfriend (now husband) to her Chinese father, facing strong disapproval. These moments of asserting her own identity represent crucial steps in developing authentic joy rather than living solely to fulfill others' expectations. Breaking from family scripts often involves temporary discomfort but leads to greater fulfillment.

4. Trading time for money is limiting

Dr. Moon recognized that working solely as an anesthesiologist meant she was just trading her time for money. After having children, this limitation became particularly frustrating as she couldn't take vacation days when her kids were out of school because her PTO requests were denied. This realization prompted her to seek alternative income sources and career options.

This insight applies beyond medicine to anyone working in traditional employment. When your income is directly tied to your physical presence, you're vulnerable if you get sick or injured. Dr. Moon broke her wrist in a car accident and couldn't intubate patients, highlighting this vulnerability. She compares having only one income stream to putting all your money in a single stock - both lack diversification and create unnecessary risk.

5. Entrepreneurship as a path to freedom and joy

After recognizing the limitations of trading time for money, Dr. Moon embraced entrepreneurship. She launched several businesses including Three Moons wine, Aromasthesia candles, and Lead Her Summit, a women's leadership conference. She also wrote a book, "Joy Prescriptions," drawing from her personal experiences and insights.

Entrepreneurship allowed her to diversify her income streams and create work that aligns with her values. It gave her more control over her schedule and the freedom to prioritize what truly matters, especially spending time with her children. Rather than being constrained by a single employer's policies, she created flexibility that supports a more joyful and balanced life. This transition represents turning away from the traditional "good Asian daughter" script toward creating her own definition of success.

6. Comparison is the thief of joy

Dr. Moon emphasizes that comparing yourself to others robs you of joy, especially in the age of social media where we constantly see others' curated highlights. She created a metaphor when her twin daughters were comparing cake slices at their birthday party. She told them to stop focusing on the size of someone else's slice and just enjoy their own cake.

This metaphor extends to many aspects of life. When we see others with bigger houses, exotic vacations, or designer clothes, we enter a comparison game that's impossible to win. There will always be someone with more. Additionally, we rarely see the full picture - the debt, stress, or sacrifices behind those enviable social media posts. Dr. Moon advises that we should only compare ourselves to our past selves, focusing on personal growth rather than external metrics.

7. Introspection and addressing childhood trauma

Writing her book became a form of therapy for Dr. Moon as she explored repressed feelings and memories from her childhood. This process often left her sobbing as she confronted difficult experiences, including witnessing her parents' conflicts and living with the pressure of feeling indebted to them for their sacrifices. She scheduled extra therapy sessions during this period to process these emotions.

Dr. Moon believes that addressing childhood trauma is essential for finding joy because these experiences become lodged in our subconscious and affect our current behaviors. Rather than suppressing feelings, which was her cultural and family pattern, she learned to feel them fully. This emotional processing, though difficult, was necessary for her to move forward and create space for joy in her life.

8. Defining joy as present-moment contentment

When asked to define joy, Dr. Moon describes it as "being wholly present, not worrying about the future, and just having a feeling of not just happiness, but being content and not wanting for anything." This definition emphasizes that joy is about appreciating what you already have rather than constantly striving for more.

This perspective contrasts sharply with her earlier achievement-oriented mindset where happiness was always contingent on reaching the next goal. She acknowledges that she isn't joyful every day and warns against creating a "culture of toxic joy" where people feel pressured to be happy all the time. Instead, she suggests finding an "overall umbrella of joy" that allows for normal life fluctuations while maintaining a positive orientation.

9. Compartmentalizing negative relationships

Dr. Moon describes her ongoing difficult relationship with her father, who continues to make unreasonable demands and leaves her feeling "not good enough, pissed off, emotionally drained." Rather than letting this negativity affect her other relationships, she has learned to compartmentalize it, placing it in a mental "bucket" so that "the fumes from it don't seep through like carbon monoxide and poison everything else."

This skill of compartmentalization serves her well professionally too, as an anesthesiologist in a level one trauma hospital where she regularly sees severely injured patients. By containing difficult experiences or relationships in mental silos, she prevents them from contaminating positive areas of her life. This approach allows her to maintain a healthy relationship with her mother despite her father's behavior and to preserve her capacity for joy despite challenging family dynamics.

10. Finding purpose through helping others

Dr. Moon's entrepreneurial ventures and professional choices are guided by a desire to help others. Though she acknowledges this might sound "trite," she feels good when she makes someone else's day better. Her leadership summit, book, and other projects aim to support professional women seeking work-life balance and empowerment.

She suggests this could be a worthwhile North Star for many people: "If you wake up in the morning and think, what can I do that would help other people, the world would be a better place." This doesn't mean selfless sacrifice—she's clear that she helps herself through helping others—but rather finding purpose in making a positive difference. Her final advice is simple but profound: "Be a good person... at the end of the day, you can go to sleep at night knowing that you did the best you could, everything else will fall into place."